Episode 2. Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy with Dr. Monika Sharma
Hypnosis in therapy? What’s that for?
In this episode of Say Hello to Your Therapist podcast, we welcome Dr. Monika Sharma, a seasoned psychologist who specializes in helping professionals, caregivers, and single women transition from burnout to balance. Dr. Sharma shares her journey into the field of psychology, delving into her personal experiences and the driving forces behind her career choice. The conversation sheds light on the inner workings of running a therapy practice and explores the intricacies of hypnosis, its applications, and common misconceptions. Dr. Sharma also discusses her approach to holistic health, integrating mental and physical wellness, and the impact of cultural heritage on her work. Join us for this insightful dialogue that touches on personal resilience, professional growth, and the importance of following one's intuition.
Bethany’s Links:
Say Hello to Your Therapist Instagram
Other socials:
Find more from Monika:
www.sharmapsych.com and 312-955-1212
Things & people we talked about:
Many Lives Many Masters by Brian Weiss
American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH)
PSYPACT Map
Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas
EMDR, Brainspotting: check out episodes 13 & 14 on these topics!
Transcript
Bethany Valenti
Welcome Monica.
Monika Sharma0:51
Thank you.
Bethany Valenti0:52
Well, why don't you tell me a little bit about what made you wanna become a therapist?
Monika Sharma0:56
Sure. So I have been a psychologist now for, gosh, it's been like 25 years Been this work. I first became interested in psychology back when I was in high school, and I took an intro to psych class, high school level.
Bethany Valenti1:10
mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:11
Something I hadn't had too much exposure to before, but being a teenager and always feeling misunderstood, I'm gonna be the person who's gonna go and help and understand
Bethany Valenti1:20
Yes.
Monika Sharma1:20
These kids. Being of South Asian descent, my parents, Just all of our, our friends group who are in the South Asian community, it was all about being a doctor.
Bethany Valenti1:31
Yeah.
Monika Sharma1:31
So that's the route I initially started to take because everyone's like Why you wanna do psychology. Why don't you go into psychiatry? And I just, it wasn't speaking to me so, I did eventually decide after taking a couple years off after college to go into psychology and not pursue medical school. And it is, I mean, it speaks to just my interests, how I Enjoy getting to know people. Thing is that my brother, he's a year and a half younger than me, and obviously differences in age, differences in gender, but we are, we couldn't be more different from each other so that always really interested me, like, how are we so Yeah. So I think partly pursuing psychology to understand a bit about also some of the family dynamics and us.
Bethany Valenti2:15
Curiosity and family really was driving it a lot, it sounds like. I am really interested to see how many people I speak to want to think about the medical field first. Even if family, expectations were steering you in one direction, but if people are pulled to be in a helping profession in general and,'cause I started out wanting to be a nurse and then was like, no, I want the relationship with the people, you know?
Monika Sharma2:42
That's what it is. I mean I felt like medicine, especially back at that time, was very much about body parts and symptoms and things like that. It just felt so reductionist and I was just What makes you, you,
Bethany Valenti2:54
The essence Of a person. And how has that trancelated into your work? what makes you, you and the work that you do now?
Monika Sharma3:02
Yeah,. I mean, my path has been just very zigzaggy. I'm sure many people, it's like you have life experiences and then you get informed by that. And then for me, I would gravitate toward wanting to read about things just to help me,
Bethany Valenti3:14
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma3:15
I'm really interested in being able to pass some of this learning and lived experience as well. Initially I was more interested in just the different family dynamics. I also, in graduate school, became interested more in my south cultural heritage, growing up at a time where, you know, it wasn't really recognized as much and that the goal was blend in, blend in, blend in. And so going to graduate school really helped me to see how important that was for me. and so I started getting more interested in that. I also was interested, so it's a South Asian culture at this time. It's in the early two thousands they were not, there's so much stigma and so people wouldn't go seek help for different things that they were going through that were emotionally difficult, but they would go see the doctor for things You know,
Bethany Valenti4:00
Headaches.
Monika Sharma4:01
Exactly
Bethany Valenti4:02
Yep.
Monika Sharma4:03
And so I started getting interested in a holistic approach to working with people and mental health and the lifestyle. I took a certification course through the Institute of Integrated Nutrition, Which was also on a personal note, I'd gone through like some of my kind of a dark period myself, and I was depressed, but not again, I was also pushing it away and denying that that's what it was
Bethany Valenti4:25
Right?
Monika Sharma4:26
Why can't I get things done, why can't I focus? Well, anyway, I did end up finally taking some antidepressant, but I wasn't comfortable with it. So here I am working with people who are going through some mental health challenges and emotional things, but I personally was not even acknowledging it for myself because the stigma Another reason I was really interested in going into and getting a certification in holistic health counseling. I did that. I did get off medication, saw how much of it was a lifetime lifestyle thing. However, I think more than anything there's a few times in my life I can recall that I felt like I was not doing what logically made sense, but, or something was like a more pull of like the spirit I guess. And this course, I wasn't, I was in debt at the time and everyone is like, you have to go to New York City. Why would you do that? It's gonna cost so much money and this course costs so much money. Why don't you wait? Why don't you find something local? Don't be impulsive
Bethany Valenti5:21
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma5:21
So none of it on a logical, rational way made sense
Bethany Valenti5:24
Yeah.
Monika Sharma5:25
But there was something I couldn't ignore
Bethany Valenti5:27
You were like, I need to do this.
Monika Sharma5:28
pulled up my credit card
Bethany Valenti5:29
Yeah.
Monika Sharma5:29
I put on there and it was interesting'cause every plane ticket. To New York City. The first and last were$125. At that time, The second through ninth were$98 round trip. All fees included. Taxes, everything. This is back in 2006
Bethany Valenti5:49
Yeah.
Monika Sharma5:51
I know. And even for that time period, it was like ridiculously inexpensive. This is an American airline. once I made this decision, it just parted, and made it really easy
Bethany Valenti5:59
Wow.
Monika Sharma6:00
for me.
Bethany Valenti6:01
Yeah.
Monika Sharma6:02
Big lesson I learned from that was to listen to my gut. It's not about necessarily what looks good on paper Something else was a calling to me and as soon
Bethany Valenti6:11
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma6:12
into the first day of class, I was like, this is exactly where I need to be right now.
Bethany Valenti6:16
Yes.
Monika Sharma6:16
Everything lit up in me and it was learning to trust myself.
Bethany Valenti6:20
I love that.
Monika Sharma6:21
probably one of the biggest takeaways.
Bethany Valenti6:23
Mm.
Monika Sharma6:23
period,
Bethany Valenti6:24
I love stories.
Monika Sharma6:25
we'll segue into something that we'll be talking about later.
Bethany Valenti6:27
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma6:28
health course. And so we also learned not just about nutrition, but we did learn about things like oppression,
Bethany Valenti6:34
Mm.
Monika Sharma6:34
lifestyle behaviors like sleep, our movement
Bethany Valenti6:37
Yeah.
Monika Sharma6:37
What does that mean for the planet?
Bethany Valenti6:39
Mm.
Monika Sharma6:40
Was on our philosophies about life and death. And it was a very globally representative class, so they
Bethany Valenti6:46
This was holistic,
Monika Sharma6:47
it's really about what's going to work best for the client.
Bethany Valenti6:50
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma6:51
I go to this lecture about life and death and, you know, being raised, my parents were Hindu and
Bethany Valenti6:57
Okay.
Monika Sharma6:57
And so being exposed to that and this idea of reincarnation,
Bethany Valenti7:00
Yeah.
Monika Sharma7:01
blend in. So
Bethany Valenti7:02
Right.
Monika Sharma7:03
this lecture on reincarnation, they talked about this psychiatrist Brian Weiss, and he wrote the book, many Lives, many Masters.
Bethany Valenti7:10
Mm.
Monika Sharma7:11
I was watching some video clips of the young kids that were being interviewed and all of these stories, being corroborated from like when they'd go back and look at news paper clippings and things like that. But this actually happened. Or kids that couldn't then spontaneously start to speak another language. I was blown away by this
Bethany Valenti7:28
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma7:29
That particular weekend I was staying with a friend of mine who I didn't typically stay with because my regular friend had her cousin staying with her. So I go back to his place and I'm like, oh my God, I didn't just like, you know, learned about this and there's this book, many lives, many masters. I have to get my hands on it. And then I saw it all of a sudden behind his head on the bookshelf and he was like, say, I'm like, oh my God, you've got this book
Bethany Valenti7:54
You have the book.
Monika Sharma7:56
Yeah. And he's like, I have never seen this book before in my life. And so it was like this worn out copy. I'm like, can I borrow this? He's like, absolutely take it. Like it's, I don't even know whose it is. And so I read it in two days. Well, one of the, that, you know, was, had led to Brian Weiss's belief in Reincarnation. He's a Western psychiatrist.
Bethany Valenti8:19
Is he the one that was on Oprah? I feel like I've seen some clips of him, on Oprah. My mom actually knew a lot more about him than I ever did, but I know of him. Yeah.
Monika Sharma8:29
it's a very easy and fascinating book. He ended up having this client that he named Catherine, who had really debilitating anxiety
Bethany Valenti8:37
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma8:38
he started working with her using hypnosis
Bethany Valenti8:40
Yeah.
Monika Sharma8:41
was in hypnosis that she jumped into a previous life,
Bethany Valenti8:44
Wow.
Monika Sharma8:45
that. Is what then suddenly led me down this hypnosis path we'll talk about later, and so that also this idea that like, I felt like suddenly things are being handed to me, like these universal whisperings and stuff where, this friend of mine never saw this book before and it's all right on the bookshelf. I mean, there are a lot of different things that that have been influenced by me
Bethany Valenti9:07
Yeah,
Monika Sharma9:08
I am a single mom by choice and I decided
Bethany Valenti9:09
Mm.
Monika Sharma9:10
child on my own.
Bethany Valenti9:11
Right?
Monika Sharma9:12
these things when you sort of pause and listen and pay attention.
Bethany Valenti9:16
There's so much empowerment in that of being able to like, just listen to what you're wanting and I feel like I actually, you hear so many people waiting for the situation to be right, and I feel like. I can be like that sometimes where you're like, well, I really wanna do this, but I can't, you know? But what if you could, what if there's a reason that you're being called to it and like just making a change and seeing like what you can bring into your life, even if it's like small steps, not having like a whole child or going to a course or whatever it is,
Monika Sharma9:46
Absolutely. I think for me, one of the, the big things that I try to still remember to this day is that, you know, in both of those situations I didn't let any kind of fear define the decision that I made, because there were, fear was part of both of those decisions, but I just let it be there and part
Bethany Valenti10:05
Yeah.
Monika Sharma10:06
The thing that I listen to
Bethany Valenti10:07
Yes. I love, like the fear is there and I'm still gonna do it.
Monika Sharma10:12
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti10:12
That's so cool.
Monika Sharma10:13
And then just to bring it to present day, I did start private practice solo.
Bethany Valenti10:17
Yeah,
Monika Sharma10:18
owning a group practice, which happened kind of on accident,
Bethany Valenti10:21
yeah,
Monika Sharma10:22
Somebody on, and then it just starts to expand.
Bethany Valenti10:24
yeah.
Monika Sharma10:25
and then in the pandemic, we like really blew up and things were really good.
Bethany Valenti10:30
Oh, yeah.
Monika Sharma10:30
really hard, you know, we had experienced a death in the practice of someone who was instrumental
Bethany Valenti10:35
Mm.
Monika Sharma10:36
and.
Bethany Valenti10:37
Really?
Monika Sharma10:37
things just sort of started again. That's when I realized I was operating from a place of a lot of fear and panic and I didn't allow myself to grieve. And so I decided last year I just need to shut this thing down and I
Bethany Valenti10:49
Mm,
Monika Sharma10:49
it to myself.
Bethany Valenti10:51
yeah.
Monika Sharma10:52
with my clients on is this
Bethany Valenti10:54
Mm,
Monika Sharma10:54
going down this path you know, just reassess because you can get caught up. Like, I feel like midlife is this time that often happens for most people and you just can keep going and going
Bethany Valenti11:03
Mid midlife is like the client that you really like to work with right?
Monika Sharma11:07
It is, and so working with also entrepreneurs and leaders, Midlife where, you know, feels like, can you give yourself that time and not, I know not everybody has that opportunity to just like take a hard pivot I wish that we had something baked in our culture, like a midyear midlife gap year
Bethany Valenti11:23
Yep.
Monika Sharma11:24
To do that between school and starting
Bethany Valenti11:27
Yeah. I feel like our culture also doesn't take on breaks as much in general. I know that there's so much more vacation even baked into like just European mindset of you're just out
Monika Sharma11:42
mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti11:42
days outta the year probably, and that's just not part of our expectation here in the US.
Monika Sharma11:47
It's true. We are very much like reward and value the go, go, go, go, go and productivity
Bethany Valenti11:53
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma11:54
do more
Bethany Valenti11:54
Mm-hmm. You know, just keep busy.
Monika Sharma11:57
We really see busyness as a virtue and, I think that we even put pressure on ourselves also, like taking a break, you know, taking a day,
Bethany Valenti12:05
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma12:06
off or napping all day, and suddenly we feel a tremendous amount of guilt for it
Bethany Valenti12:10
Yes.
Monika Sharma12:12
it does.
Bethany Valenti12:12
Yeah.
Monika Sharma12:12
It's really hard. I have a client who, has some health stuff, but taking some time off to take care of herself was really,
Bethany Valenti12:20
Yeah.
Monika Sharma12:20
Until something else like worse happened some time off to get some treatment and healing.
Bethany Valenti12:26
Yeah.
Monika Sharma12:27
so long, and it's just, you know what, why don't we give ourselves permission, like when we need to
Bethany Valenti12:31
Yeah, I think that makes me think of what you said about the fear-based decision
Monika Sharma12:34
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti12:35
Like where I can't stop, or else this will happen or I will lose this. Or what will other people think that fear can be stemmed from so many different things for different people or just all of the above. Especially like you said, if they're entrepreneurs, the work that they do is like their baby probably, so it's probably even harder to step back.
Monika Sharma12:56
Absolutely. I know when I had my group practice and after the death of this, my clinical director and
Bethany Valenti13:03
Hmm.
Monika Sharma13:03
was summer of 2021,
Bethany Valenti13:05
Yeah.
Monika Sharma13:06
we just jumped into action to protect my team. But then everybody left at the start of 2022
Bethany Valenti13:10
Hmm.
Monika Sharma13:11
that devastated me because I wanted to leave too. I'm like, I want a fresh start.
Bethany Valenti13:15
Yeah.
Monika Sharma13:16
like new energy,
Bethany Valenti13:16
Sounds good to me.
Monika Sharma13:18
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti13:19
And you couldn't,
Monika Sharma13:20
But so giving permission to myself this early, at the end of last year is when I decided to shut everything down with my group practice. And I took a few months off.
Bethany Valenti13:29
okay.
Monika Sharma13:29
being a handful of clients during that time
Bethany Valenti13:32
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma13:33
followed me into solo practice.
Bethany Valenti13:34
Yeah.
Monika Sharma13:35
for that.
Bethany Valenti13:36
Didn't happen necessarily the way you wanted it to,
Monika Sharma13:38
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti13:39
and it's one of those places where you look back and it's like, well, I'm glad I made this decision,
Monika Sharma13:44
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti13:44
put yourself first.
Monika Sharma13:46
mm-hmm. I had a lot of support friends who are just like, it's not failing, you know, to decide you don't wanna do
Bethany Valenti13:51
Mm-hmm. I need to hear that this is not failing,
Monika Sharma13:54
Am I taking a step backwards? I started solo and then I built this, 16 person practice
Bethany Valenti13:59
Oh, that's so big.
Monika Sharma14:00
Great. it was amazing.
Bethany Valenti14:02
Yeah.
Monika Sharma14:03
got really hard for a number of different reasons.
Bethany Valenti14:07
Yeah.
Monika Sharma14:08
Same.
Bethany Valenti14:08
Yeah. That loss sounds really profound, like such an impact, like there was the pandemic and then an actual loss of a person that just was what I would imagine would be really emotionally jarring and impactful, but then it's so practically if they're the clinical director at the same time, so it's all just like tranceplanted into every part of the work that you're doing.
Monika Sharma14:35
Yeah. It's really it like really shattered so much of the practice when we lost him.
Bethany Valenti14:40
Yeah.
Monika Sharma14:41
Thank you.
Bethany Valenti14:42
And it sounds like, we're not happy with how we got here, but we're in a good place right now
Monika Sharma14:49
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti14:50
Yeah.
Monika Sharma14:51
That's something that I think as therapists, we know that things happen.
Bethany Valenti14:54
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma14:55
can't stop those things from
Bethany Valenti14:56
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma14:57
but how do we allow ourselves to move through it trying to push it away and pretend it's not impacting us getting stuck in it and not knowing how to get out,
Bethany Valenti15:08
Do you ever feel like annoyed that you have to take your own advice?
Monika Sharma15:14
I know, I think most of my close friends are therapists, and I'm so grateful for that
Bethany Valenti15:18
Oh, yeah, you got all the benefits, you got the wraparound care.
Monika Sharma15:22
I know
Bethany Valenti15:23
We just need some, physicians and all the people.
Monika Sharma15:27
you really need like a handyman or something's what I
Bethany Valenti15:29
Can you tell me a little bit about how many kids do you have? You said you're a single mother by choice, right?
Monika Sharma15:34
yes, I have a daughter. She's gonna be 11 in November,
Bethany Valenti15:37
Oh my gosh.
Monika Sharma15:39
so she, yeah, that was another decision. It was like one of the best decisions I made because, I just wasn't partnered
Bethany Valenti15:45
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma15:46
felt like, I mourn this idea that maybe a family's not in it for me because I was now in my forties.
Bethany Valenti15:50
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma15:51
So I then had this meltdown where I'm like, gosh, I don't know. I loved my life.
Bethany Valenti15:56
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma15:57
I had the best time, but it wasn't fulfilling when I thought about my future, I'm like, this can't be it.
Bethany Valenti16:02
Yeah.
Monika Sharma16:03
I honestly think that she was just, felt bad for me. So she's like, well, there's no substitute. If you really wanna be a mom, then you should
Bethany Valenti16:09
Mm.
Monika Sharma16:10
a mom. like, sure, you said those words, not realizing I was going to take it and run with it
Bethany Valenti16:14
Just go do it.
Monika Sharma16:15
Because again, being of Indian descent,
Bethany Valenti16:18
Mm,
Monika Sharma16:19
like, it's not part of the culture.
Bethany Valenti16:21
yeah.
Monika Sharma16:22
had a harder time with it.
Bethany Valenti16:23
Mm
Monika Sharma16:24
a pretty girl. People will marry you. I was 41 at this time
Bethany Valenti16:27
Okay.
Monika Sharma16:27
she was like, he was like, it's not too late. If that's what marriage was about for me, I would've been married long before.
Bethany Valenti16:34
if I just needed a person, then I would've done it.
Monika Sharma16:36
Exactly. So, I went ahead and I did it on my own. My dad came around, I mean, like right away.
Bethany Valenti16:42
I mean, once you see the baby, it's really hard
Monika Sharma16:44
I felt like it was very easy for me and things just fell in place with it during the doctor that I selected. And,
Bethany Valenti16:50
mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma16:50
I mean, there's so many coincidences. There was like, so many coincidences that I don't believe are coincidences,
Bethany Valenti16:56
Yeah. I love those.
Monika Sharma16:57
little winks
Bethany Valenti16:58
Mm,
Monika Sharma16:58
from the universe.
Bethany Valenti17:00
I like that.
Monika Sharma17:01
So anyways, I just felt like she was meant to be this was the journey that I was meant to be on.
Bethany Valenti17:06
Mm.
Monika Sharma17:07
There's some kind of like a settling.
Bethany Valenti17:09
Alignment or something.
Monika Sharma17:10
a little like a tingling and everything feels like this is it, you know? And,
Bethany Valenti17:15
Hmm.
Monika Sharma17:15
And so that's just going on this course. I got pregnant pretty easily with her second try. My daughter, you know, she did have a heart condition. She needed to have surgery when she was 4 months Old, but
Bethany Valenti17:25
Oh, stressful
Monika Sharma17:26
even with that, it wasn't,
Bethany Valenti17:27
You're, you're like, actually, no.
Monika Sharma17:30
We, I think I just like really had faith and I kept. She took care of me. There was something about her energy. A doctor might say, well, yeah, it's because she probably was more calm because she wasn't, you know, I mean with her heart condition and things like that. Maybe not as energetic, you know, that maybe might be, but I'm like, she really grounded me, just her eyes and her demeanor and, so I just felt like, fine. She's like reassuring me, you know, I, I put whatever meaning on it that I felt I needed, and
Bethany Valenti18:00
Yeah.
Monika Sharma18:00
really reassuring at that time. She's gonna be 11,
Bethany Valenti18:03
That's amazing.
Monika Sharma18:04
she's amazing. And so it was also because of having her in my life that I worked harder than I might've worked because it was now not just about me.
Bethany Valenti18:12
Mm.
Monika Sharma18:13
good enough to work hard for me, but now I have a daughter who's relying on me. I wanna make sure her life is secure and set up
Bethany Valenti18:21
Yeah.
Monika Sharma18:22
doing this on my own without a partner,
Bethany Valenti18:23
Right?
Monika Sharma18:24
my family's amazing. My friends have been amazing, but at the end of the day, it is me. And I wanted to give that to her.
Bethany Valenti18:31
Yeah.
Monika Sharma18:31
also helped with the success of the group practice
Bethany Valenti18:34
Mm-hmm. And so then when that shifted, did you reframe that for yourself as a, this is for her too? This is for me. This is for her? Or did it feel hard to feel like you were stepping away from something that was for her?
Monika Sharma18:51
It started to feel like it was costing me myself and it all, I could also see it impacting her because
Bethany Valenti19:01
I was gonna say that would, as soon as you said that, I was like, and that just turns right back around.
Monika Sharma19:05
And I'm like, I can't do this to, like, it's not worth it. And financially it was not as strong as it had once been. We were just with the scramble after
Bethany Valenti19:15
Hmm.
Monika Sharma19:16
the sort of mass resignation.
Bethany Valenti19:18
Yeah.
Monika Sharma19:18
personal to me. It was that time period early 2022 where
Bethany Valenti19:22
Hmm.
Monika Sharma19:23
country was talking about the great resignation. It was just
Bethany Valenti19:25
Yeah.
Monika Sharma19:26
did a change.
Bethany Valenti19:27
Yeah.
Monika Sharma19:28
Yeah. And it was never just a business for me. It was always about the relationships and
Bethany Valenti19:32
yeah,
Monika Sharma19:33
You know, I started pulling back on my client care because I'm like, my employees now are the people I'm gonna
Bethany Valenti19:37
yeah.
Monika Sharma19:38
too, help grow.
Bethany Valenti19:40
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma19:41
so that was so fulfilling and rewarding. But it's between like interactions also that really I started to realize were like the glue. So I started to feel like we as people, it's kinda like a mosaic and we can be
Bethany Valenti19:54
Mm.
Monika Sharma19:54
Realize how much
Bethany Valenti19:56
Yes.
Monika Sharma19:56
conversations
Bethany Valenti19:57
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma19:57
It
Bethany Valenti19:57
Yeah.
Monika Sharma19:58
brings up the spontaneous connection.
Bethany Valenti20:01
Relationship building. Oh, it's so valuable. Yeah. There's a reason, I was really excited to start a podcast. I miss talking to people.
Monika Sharma20:08
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti20:08
You,
Monika Sharma20:09
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti20:10
being in a, I was in a university counseling center setting, and just one of the things that kept me there for so long was the relationships, was the connections and those conversations,
Monika Sharma20:19
huh,
Bethany Valenti20:19
rule that we're putting into place or what we're having to do it matters, you know?
Monika Sharma20:23
or even,
Bethany Valenti20:24
Yeah.
Monika Sharma20:24
a break.
Bethany Valenti20:24
Yes.
Monika Sharma20:25
Yes it's hard. And so with the pandemic and everyone working from home, it suddenly started to feel like we were all our own individual tiles again
Bethany Valenti20:32
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma20:33
And like, okay, what's the benefit of the group if we're not, I mean, we had our meetings and consultations and things, but social outings also. I tried to be really good about that. that we could all get to know each other
Bethany Valenti20:43
Yeah.
Monika Sharma20:44
The clinical work that we do.
Bethany Valenti20:46
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma20:46
it started to feel like a job because I got fed and rewarded and you know, that was my own pay, was my interactions with the team and seeing everybody else also connect with each other. With my team, they worked for me, but I know that they stayed with me. They had a great retention before 2022, like nobody left. And I know I did that. I had that because they could feel that I worked for them.
Bethany Valenti21:09
It makes a difference when you feel like you're the people that are taking care of you or actually taking care of you, or that are like responsible for you, are also taking care of you. Does that, it's a distinction there.
Monika Sharma21:19
Oh, I loved it.
Bethany Valenti21:20
Yeah.
Monika Sharma21:20
loved it. And so that's going back to solo. Now I get to
Bethany Valenti21:24
focus on the clinical
Monika Sharma21:25
work again,
Bethany Valenti21:26
Yeah. How's that been?
Monika Sharma21:28
it's been a, it's been slow. so I'm no longer taking insurance. That
Bethany Valenti21:31
Okay.
Monika Sharma21:32
thing that had happened.
Bethany Valenti21:33
Yep.
Monika Sharma21:33
practice as we
Bethany Valenti21:34
Yeah.
Monika Sharma21:35
to back audits from
Bethany Valenti21:36
Oh,
Monika Sharma21:37
And I,
Bethany Valenti21:39
oh.
Monika Sharma21:40
I know they're in the news all the time now, and I'm like, thank goodness. It's sort of like they're getting exposed for the way that they do business
Bethany Valenti21:47
Mm.
Monika Sharma21:48
profit first rather
Bethany Valenti21:49
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma21:50
And
Bethany Valenti21:51
Yeah.
Monika Sharma21:52
anyway, that was also because it felt like a money grab, but it was just, I felt really vulnerable taking insurance.
Bethany Valenti21:59
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma22:00
People wanna use insurance, especially in a city like Chicago. I know that there's other places in the country where it's pretty much the standard that people don't use insurance to pay for therapy services But that's okay because I feel like it's more intentional.
Bethany Valenti22:13
Yeah. More intentional.
Monika Sharma22:14
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti22:16
build.
Monika Sharma22:16
my clients
Bethany Valenti22:17
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma22:17
and I don't have to worry about getting claims denied or the
Bethany Valenti22:22
Yeah,
Monika Sharma22:23
you know, where it's like we're gonna take money back
Bethany Valenti22:25
we're Just gonna take it back.
Monika Sharma22:25
Even though we've already done the session, even though the client even will report that they've been helped. It just, it was a game I no longer wanted to play because I felt like it was more about covering your own ass rather than about,
Bethany Valenti22:35
Yeah.
Monika Sharma22:35
taking care of the client.
Bethany Valenti22:37
Yeah,
Monika Sharma22:37
you know,
Bethany Valenti22:38
yeah.
Monika Sharma22:39
too,
Bethany Valenti22:40
And we get into this to help people. And when you feel like you're doing that and you're getting punished that just sucks.
Monika Sharma22:48
yeah,
Bethany Valenti22:49
I'm really excited to talk about the hypnosis. Can we come back to it?
Monika Sharma22:52
Let's do that.
Bethany Valenti22:53
When did you start learning about it? Is it like a certification thing? how does that work?
Monika Sharma22:57
I told you that I read that book, Many Lives, Many Masters
Bethany Valenti22:59
Yep.
Monika Sharma23:00
I was just blown away by it. It really changed how I even viewed life
Bethany Valenti23:07
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma23:08
Got so much reassurance from that book. Suddenly everything felt okay, if that makes sense?
Bethany Valenti23:12
Wow.
Monika Sharma23:13
I was really interested in learning hypnosis. If I could do this in any way with some of my clients, just to get to like layers where we are not, when we were in talk therapy, we are talking about things that are in our conscious awareness. When we are in hypnosis, we can reach a layer that's beyond what we're consciously thinking about.
Bethany Valenti23:32
Yes.
Monika Sharma23:34
when we're talking
Bethany Valenti23:34
Yeah.
Monika Sharma23:35
I took hypnosis the first, the level one and two training through the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis. Immediately following the certification I got with Holistic Health Counsel. So I got that in 2007, I think.
Bethany Valenti23:50
The timing tracks.'cause I could just picture you feeling so great at that class and then reading the book and then being like, well, here, I'm gonna go do that.
Monika Sharma23:59
here's my credit card.
Bethany Valenti24:00
Oh, let's just go. If we're doing it, we're going all in.
Monika Sharma24:03
It's, and especially then with, again, I just had learned about like how our mental health also, I mean, that focus of the Institute of Integrative Nutrition was not on mental health, but I took it and applied it to mental health and how it is that I can help people with their mental health through these lifestyle changes and behaviors as well. So here I am now already broadening my scope and how it is that I'm conceptualizing people and how they can take the best care of themselves
Bethany Valenti24:28
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma24:29
through the foods that they eat, as well as the activities that they engage in, the relationships that they're a part of. And now I wanted to add hypnosis to broaden it even further. And so that's when I got trained in hypnosis and I started integrating it into my practice right away.
Bethany Valenti24:44
Wow.
Monika Sharma24:45
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti24:47
So...how do you like to explain it to people who are coming? I would just love to hear, like, what do you mean by hypnosis?
Monika Sharma24:54
That's a good question. I feel like people think about hypnosis through what they might see on TV or movies where it feels a lot more like mind control
Bethany Valenti25:02
Yeah.
Monika Sharma25:03
sneaking my way in and I'm gonna influence your thoughts and I'm
Bethany Valenti25:06
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma25:07
Exactly.
Bethany Valenti25:08
Yeah.
Monika Sharma25:08
That is not what hypnosis is.
Bethany Valenti25:10
Okay.
Monika Sharma25:11
it's not therapy
Bethany Valenti25:12
Stage hypnosis. Okay.
Monika Sharma25:13
And with performance hypnosis, the hypnotist. Knows how to pick up people
Bethany Valenti25:20
Hmm.
Monika Sharma25:20
to be really good at
Bethany Valenti25:23
Like responsive.
Monika Sharma25:24
Exactly.
Bethany Valenti25:25
Ah.
Monika Sharma25:25
So they tend to be more voyeuristic. They'll ask people in the audience who's, you know, I need some volunteers. If you're raising your hand right away, that selects for people who are willing to maybe go and make a fool of themselves, you know? some good chuckles to the audience. And then they can start to narrow down and select from those few volunteers that he invited or she invited on stage and start to narrow down, like who may be a really good person to finally select. It could be even things like, imagine that you're in a bathtub full of ice water and see who might kind of have some goosebumps and then they'll be like, okay, they're suggestible.
Bethany Valenti26:01
Interesting.
Monika Sharma26:02
goosebumps, then they'll send them back to sit in the audience and thank them for their time. So that's how they do it. And
Bethany Valenti26:09
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma26:09
somebody who's already, exhibitionistic.
Bethany Valenti26:12
Okay.
Monika Sharma26:13
who's willing to do that, somebody who's suggestible and then they've got like their perfect sort of candidate to make them bark like a dog or cluck like a chicken.
Bethany Valenti26:21
Right,
Monika Sharma26:22
things that people will talk about,
Bethany Valenti26:23
Yeah.
Monika Sharma26:23
Hypnosis is not mind control. You have to be willing.
Bethany Valenti26:27
That's what I've heard is that there's consent involved that even though it looks like people are doing weird things, they wouldn't do it unless they had agreed on some level.
Monika Sharma26:38
So there has to be trust
Bethany Valenti26:40
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma26:40
There has to be a willingness and a surrender. There has to be some suggestibility, and 95% of the population are good candidates for hypnosis.
Bethany Valenti26:49
It's not,
Monika Sharma26:50
most likely that will not be you.'cause 95% of the people
Bethany Valenti26:54
Yeah, that's a lot. do we call it like therapeutic hypnosis? Like what's the term?
Monika Sharma26:59
I still just call it hypnosis,
Bethany Valenti27:00
Okay.
Monika Sharma27:00
it hypnotherapy,
Bethany Valenti27:01
Hypnotherapy.
Monika Sharma27:02
call
Bethany Valenti27:02
I like that.
Monika Sharma27:03
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti27:03
Yeah.
Monika Sharma27:04
And so.
Bethany Valenti27:06
Just curious. I'm trying to remove some of the stuff that you told me about the stage hypnosis and get back into the hypnotherapy realm. So some of the stuff that you were saying about the willingness and everything like that trancelates to both?
Monika Sharma27:19
Yes. So those things are similar in terms of that willingness piece, but the difference with the more of the therapeutic
Bethany Valenti27:25
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma27:26
You've got your client who's willing and is open to doing it.
Bethany Valenti27:30
Mm
Monika Sharma27:30
people who are very influential and may use some of these techniques Hypnosis is, again, you've gotta have consent from the client. What hypnosis is, is it's when you're in a trance and you, like all of us are in trance all the time, we just don't
Bethany Valenti27:46
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma27:46
If we are driving our car and we're zoning out and just like on autopilot, we are in a trance.
Bethany Valenti27:52
Yeah.
Monika Sharma27:52
We are scrolling on our phone, on social media, and are playing a game like we are in a trance.
Bethany Valenti27:59
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma28:00
even eating,
Bethany Valenti28:01
yeah. Totally Elsewhere. In a lot of these cases, yeah. This morning I have to drop off my kids at two different buildings. it's all in the same vicinity, So I dropped off my daughter and then as I was dropping off my son, the gist is that the shoes she was supposed to be wearing were in the van, and I didn't know that, so I had to go back and drop them off after I dropped him off. And as I was leaving, I was so engrossed and thinking about my son and the drop off that, even though I knew I needed to like, go do something else, I just felt like I was in a whole different place. Like feeling my brain shift back to this is while I'm driving, which is concerning, but like, I remember being like, yes, I made it all the way over here. Yes, that's right. I need to go. That's why I'm going and I'm turning and having to like, I felt such a distinct shift into away from that location into the present again, and just, I don't know, it feels like kind of what you're talking about, just like I felt like I was in a trance. I felt like I was not in my body in that moment.
Monika Sharma29:05
And that's a lot of what it is.
Bethany Valenti29:06
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma29:07
space and time,
Bethany Valenti29:09
More pliable.
Monika Sharma29:10
that linear sort of process. We kind of almost disconnect from space and time as well
Bethany Valenti29:14
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma29:15
And that's why if you're scrolling on your phone, then you can suddenly look up and an hour and a half has gone by,
Bethany Valenti29:21
Right.
Monika Sharma29:22
where that time went because it certainly didn't feel like an hour and a half went by. so those are some examples of being in a trance. And hypnosis is now just intentionally going into a trance. And again, the hypnotherapist is more like a guide. So if you think about doing meditation,
Bethany Valenti29:38
Yeah.
Monika Sharma29:38
you can have someone guide you in meditation, so that's all it is. But you can also do meditation on your own. Hypnosis is all self hypnosis.
Bethany Valenti29:46
Hmm.
Monika Sharma29:47
and I serve as a guide to help you get to
Bethany Valenti29:49
Okay.
Monika Sharma29:50
where you're in a trance.
Bethany Valenti29:51
Would you say it's different than meditation?
Monika Sharma29:54
so the difference, it feels a lot like meditation. I think about meditation where you are creating more like a stillness in your mind, or clearing
Bethany Valenti30:04
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma30:04
hypnosis is where you're creating that clearing and that space.
Bethany Valenti30:08
Okay.
Monika Sharma30:08
is something called a post hypnotic suggestion.
Bethany Valenti30:12
Okay.
Monika Sharma30:12
that the mind can now sort of like receive hold on to and take with it once the hypnosis is over.
Bethany Valenti30:18
I love what you're doing with your hands. They're almost like you were stitching something in like the way you do that with your fingers, you know, I felt like you're just like, oh, here's just a, I'm just gonna like add this little stitch and then, you know, for later,
Monika Sharma30:29
I like
Bethany Valenti30:30
I went to a training on hypnosis, but it was, when I was at my university counseling center, it was someone who had done like the first level of training and was sort of walking us through it. And so I feel like I got some sort of sense of what it's like. And at the same time I sort of totally could, and this is years later, but like I could walk away being like, I still feel like I know nothing. I don't know if I'm one of the 5%, maybe we could talk about like what makes the 5% different. We tried to do some self-hypnosis and I don't know what I was doing. One person in there fell asleep. A lot of people did fine, I'll tell you that. Like it wasn't, but I distinctly remember one person fell asleep and I sort of felt like I couldn't, I didn't know I was just sitting there. But it was a group thing and maybe if I was one-on-one, it would have felt different,
Monika Sharma31:14
Yeah, I've done group hypnosis, like been a participant in group hypnosis, don't find it helpful for me I find other people distracting, like little coughs, or I've had people fall asleep where I'm suddenly hearing snoring.
Bethany Valenti31:24
Or if you're an anxious person or like, I was recently diagnosed with A DHD, so now I'm just like, maybe I couldn't really focus in that moment, like with all the people around like that, your mind just couldn't really settle or enter that place as easily.
Monika Sharma31:38
yeah.
Bethany Valenti31:39
Or someone who overthinks of like, am I doing this right?
Monika Sharma31:41
So when you go into hypnosis, you start with induction. An induction is just helping a person to get into trance.
Bethany Valenti31:48
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma31:49
I usually have people visualize some things with their body and get themselves more and more relaxed
Bethany Valenti31:54
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma31:55
muscles release things that they don't need to hold onto at this moment. and creating some sense of trust. But some people, I mean, you can do the whole pendulum swinging.
Bethany Valenti32:04
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma32:05
on something and it puts you in a trance-like state.
Bethany Valenti32:07
Yeah.
Monika Sharma32:08
It can be, there's some different ways that you can, there's like almost a circuitry, I guess, in the mind That kind of like allows you to go into, like, switch into trance. Also, there's some techniques that people will use using their eyes and rolling their eyes up. You can, it just may take a little bit longer to do that. And if you're not trusting, like, oh, I really don't believe this, is this really working, like you are absolutely not gonna go into trance if you're evaluating it every step of the way or have opinions about it. And so what hypnosis does is it starts to get past, like we normally in our waking world are in like kind of beta waves with our brain. And so it takes you into alpha or even theta. So it's taking you under the surface of consciousness, which is that beta level
Bethany Valenti32:54
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma32:55
into the alpha or the theta levels.
Bethany Valenti32:58
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma32:58
And you can start to fall asleep and you can kind of hear the TV going, but the visuals in your mind are also kind of swimming around a little bit
Bethany Valenti33:05
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma33:06
That is that stage where you're an alpha
Bethany Valenti33:08
Yeah.
Monika Sharma33:09
Oh, like that could never, that could never happen. You know? I was first in this place, but now suddenly I'm in that place like dreaming. Does that make sense?
Bethany Valenti33:17
I think so. Yeah. I think I'm also struck just personally by memories of like myself falling asleep around people and still sort of listening to the conversation and saying something that made absolutely no sense because I was in that space and I'm wondering if I was in Alpha or theta waves, like
Monika Sharma33:40
That's exactly it.
Bethany Valenti33:41
I have distinct memories, of doing that.'cause I had, I was, I, I've always been more of like a morning person and so I've often tried to, stay up late. And so I will like be sitting there and I will be fighting sleep and I'll come in and out and I have like a very clear memory of one time being at a friend's house and she had visitors over and it was even more like, I was so anxious about being rude and I was weirdly following the conversation. And I said something in response to what they said and they were like, what? that woke me up faster than anything. It was so, oh my gosh, that's taking me back. Like, I just still think about that. I still remember they were saying something about, my friend was saying something that she had done and I made a joke about, like in my state, I said, that's not what the camera says. Like. And I was like, what are you talking about? and thank God it was sensible enough because the person was, because I was trying to stay awake and pretend that I was not sleeping. That's the other thing. So someone else there was like, oh no, she's saying that like if there had been cameras, the evidence would be otherwise. And I was like, that's exactly what I was going for. But I have no idea how I grasped that in that moment.'cause I was clearly out of it.
Monika Sharma35:03
Absolutely. And that is exactly what it is. Like you're in this like different state, you're not quite here. You're a little bit here, but you're not quite fully here Your mind is wandering
Bethany Valenti35:11
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma35:12
so in that state of mind, there's a lot more that's possible as you can even, are you talking about in your own example? Like things are not necessarily logically flowing, but there's possibility that's, you know, that's available now because you're not poo-pooing things away and like, oh, that could never happen. Or having opinions and judgments and biases show up. And so that's where hypnosis works. Now, hypnosis is all about what's happening in our mind, but you know, we have a lot of evidence now how our mind and our body are, are just
Bethany Valenti35:43
Connected. Yeah.
Monika Sharma35:44
connected. coin.
Bethany Valenti35:45
Yes.
Monika Sharma35:46
And so. We can even think about how, like if we've got a really important presentation to give next week and we feel we have some presentation or speaking anxiety, then we can just think about it and already our heart starts to race
Bethany Valenti36:02
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma36:02
and our palms get sweaty. If we suddenly hear a song that takes us back in
Bethany Valenti36:07
Yep.
Monika Sharma36:07
it's like, oh my God, I love this song.
Bethany Valenti36:09
Yeah. You feel it in every fiber of your being.
Monika Sharma36:12
Exactly. Or an old photo and this memory comes flooding back and we can feel it
Bethany Valenti36:17
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma36:18
Or if we're watching that movie and it's a scary movie and suddenly like somebody comes jumping out from the shadows with like an axe, then we're gonna jump a little bit. We startle and we feel it,
Bethany Valenti36:29
Yeah.
Monika Sharma36:29
it after, but,
Bethany Valenti36:30
Yeah.
Monika Sharma36:31
our body doesn't know the difference.
Bethany Valenti36:33
Mm-hmm. I have the worst startle reflex. I'm really bad at those movies.
Monika Sharma36:37
Oh I can't even watch those movies.
Bethany Valenti36:37
I take'em home with me.
Monika Sharma36:39
Then it'll just start to like the certain scenes keep
Bethany Valenti36:41
Yep.
Monika Sharma36:41
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti36:42
Yeah. And the way it made me feel,
Monika Sharma36:43
absolutely. But do feel things that are beyond what is actually happening to us in the moment
Bethany Valenti36:50
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma36:50
And that is what differentiates us from all other animals. We are very similar to all other animals in a way. like the fight, flight response, fight, flight, freeze fawn, just to
Bethany Valenti37:01
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma37:02
And we are also very different in that our mind can go elsewhere. And so we capitalize or leverage that in hypnosis by taking our mind to a place where things are possible. We insert something new that already the person wants to do because the willingness has to be there.
Bethany Valenti37:20
Yeah.
Monika Sharma37:20
So hypnosis can help like give a little nudge In a direction you already wanna go.
Bethany Valenti37:26
I
Monika Sharma37:27
find that that's to be one of the most important criteria and is, and whether hypnosis will be successful or not
Bethany Valenti37:32
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma37:33
Even if they're hypnotizable, if they're coming in because they are saying, well, like my partner really wants me to quit smoking, my doctor saying I need to quit smoking. So like they just want some sort of magical solution that can help for a little while, but the moment they get stressed or they're out with friends, you know, drinking or whatever it might be like they'll reach for the cigarette because they didn't own the change for themselves. They're not yet ready.
Bethany Valenti38:00
I feel like that trancelates to a lot of the work that we do in general. what do you find that you are using it the most for in your practice?
Monika Sharma38:09
So I've interwoven it into the therapy work that I do
Bethany Valenti38:13
okay.
Monika Sharma38:13
game for that and helping with, anxiety.
Bethany Valenti38:18
Hmm.
Monika Sharma38:18
I also worked with fears. Sometimes people may get some clarity around it if they're having a hard time making a decision around something. I've used it where people can connect with what I would call the wise self or inner guide. It can help with overcoming some trauma where they can start to create some distance, like they're watching things that have happened to them on a screen so that they're starting to see it from a new perspective and distance themselves and process it in a way that's more helpful to help them through it.
Bethany Valenti38:49
Hmm.
Monika Sharma38:49
I also get hypnosis referrals for more standalone hypnosis, and a lot of it has to do with habit change, like smoking, vaping, reducing sugar, reducing drinking.
Bethany Valenti39:01
Okay.
Monika Sharma39:01
the relationship with something, whether it's eliminating it entirely or reducing it and like putting more like boundaries around it. I'm only going to have. Two drinks and on the weekends, maybe socially with friends. And so like eliminating the solo drinking on a Tuesday, that kind of
Bethany Valenti39:17
Ah, okay.
Monika Sharma39:18
So changing the relationship with it.
Bethany Valenti39:20
Yeah.
Monika Sharma39:21
be anything from giving a presentation
Bethany Valenti39:23
Mm.
Monika Sharma39:25
you know, sports like golf.
Bethany Valenti39:27
Golf. the ultimate mental sport
Monika Sharma39:31
I know.
Bethany Valenti39:31
feels like I, that's, I know that there's so much with sports psych in general but it feels like you hear so much of the mentality the most around golf.
Monika Sharma39:41
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti39:43
That's my perception. I also, I'm also married to a golfer, so what are you gonna do? I told him, I'm like, I get to do a podcast with someone who I know she does hypnosis with golfers, and his eyebrows went way up. He was like, alright, then.
Monika Sharma39:56
People take their golf games so
Bethany Valenti39:58
Seriously!
Monika Sharma40:00
Had like a client who finally started seeing me for therapy because he's like, I knew I needed help with my golf game was going off like that used to be my therapy.
Bethany Valenti40:10
oh, yes.
Monika Sharma40:12
I didn't have that available anymore so I'm like, I needed to be here.
Bethany Valenti40:15
I love that self-awareness,
Monika Sharma40:17
And my dad plays golf
Bethany Valenti40:18
Yeah.
Monika Sharma40:18
It's a little funny story because I had a client who was seeing me for reasons that had nothing to do with golf. He was a, for marriage issues,
Bethany Valenti40:27
Okay.
Monika Sharma40:28
he had a big presentation coming up and so he asked if hypnosis would help. He said, and I said, absolutely we did it. He did this big presentation, where normally he would be sweating and he'd like, you know, just feeling really clammy and just all these and hot
Bethany Valenti40:42
Hmm.
Monika Sharma40:42
said it was like cool as a breeze. He did it in front of, Hundreds of people,
Bethany Valenti40:46
Hmm.
Monika Sharma40:47
it went beautifully.
Bethany Valenti40:48
Yeah.
Monika Sharma40:48
And one of them was his golf game. so I did it and it worked. And so he was like really impressed with that. And I was telling my dad, who loves golf,
Bethany Valenti40:58
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma40:58
He has a lot of different hobbies that are his therapy. people take their golf game so seriously. You should market for that. people will come see you. They will spend money to get their golf game better.
Bethany Valenti41:07
I think so.
Monika Sharma41:08
And dad, I can do it for you too if you'd like, you
Bethany Valenti41:10
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma41:11
your game. And I was like, okay.
Bethany Valenti41:14
Classic dad. So funny. Not for me. Like, oh my gosh, yes. That's so funny.
Monika Sharma41:22
I know. he wasn't even willing to entertain it for free. like, all right.
Bethany Valenti41:28
Funny. So, I'm thinking too, because I only recently learned in the past year about brain spotting, but did you do that group brainspotting demo
Monika Sharma41:41
I did,
Bethany Valenti41:41
Okay. Did it feel similar to hypnosis for you as, as someone who practices hypnotherapy? how did it feel for you?
Monika Sharma41:48
Uhhuh.
Bethany Valenti41:48
Because I mean, I knew there was a different theory,
Monika Sharma41:51
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti41:52
As I'm looking back on it, it sort of felt like we were kind of going into those waves and
Monika Sharma41:58
I felt very relaxed,
Bethany Valenti42:00
Mm.
Monika Sharma42:01
I did not feel, I, so I've tried EMDR also in the past. the way that my.
Bethany Valenti42:07
brain works.
Monika Sharma42:08
yeah, my brain works. I'm a verbal processor,
Bethany Valenti42:11
That's me.
Monika Sharma42:11
and so I couldn't like on demand, you know,
Bethany Valenti42:14
Mm.
Monika Sharma42:15
to that space.
Bethany Valenti42:16
Yeah.
Monika Sharma42:17
in the middle of the night be thinking about it, but not when I am sort of in a session asked. And it was also group setting. So I personally didn't feel, I think, what is intended with brain spotting, but it's absolutely about trance,
Bethany Valenti42:32
Yeah.
Monika Sharma42:33
that EMDR also sort of sets you in this place where you are in trance, but they are working bilaterally again, with some of, unless I'm not trained in EMDR, so I
Bethany Valenti42:43
Yeah.
Monika Sharma42:43
I know that there's like a bilateral simulation
Bethany Valenti42:45
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma42:46
with too and
Bethany Valenti42:47
Yep.
Monika Sharma42:49
But I can say that that trance piece is the overlap that I'm aware of
Bethany Valenti42:53
Yeah,
Monika Sharma42:53
There's stuff I'm not familiar with,
Bethany Valenti42:55
And I'm hoping to get someone on here to, talk about Brainspotting as well,
Monika Sharma43:01
yeah.
Bethany Valenti43:01
The overlap is notable.
Monika Sharma43:03
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti43:04
You know, and there's so much overlap in so many different types of therapies that it really is about what you want to do, your intention, what fits for you. Like you said, even that I mean, you and I were in there, we saw some profoundly impacted people, emotionally. but I don't know if it wasn't that impactful for me, compared to what I saw, for some people in the room. But I'm also a verbal processor. I'm also an intellectualizer, So I think it probably touched on some stuff, but again, group setting versus individual versus the fit for the person,
Monika Sharma43:42
Absolutely.
Bethany Valenti43:43
so one more question I think about hypnosis. How does it look? When you incorporate it with kind of your long-term clients versus
Monika Sharma43:55
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti43:55
I'm just here for hypnosis,
Monika Sharma43:57
the hypnosis, I'll start with that because it is the easier one to
Bethany Valenti44:00
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma44:01
People come for a standalone concern that they wanna address through hypnosis. I do an intake with them for one session, and then I really customize things so that I'm addressing things and using the client's words
Bethany Valenti44:12
Mm.
Monika Sharma44:13
to resonate as much with the client as possible.
Bethany Valenti44:16
Yes.
Monika Sharma44:17
And, in hypnosis, you're supposed to frame things in a positive way,
Bethany Valenti44:21
Okay.
Monika Sharma44:22
instead of, it's like I don't want to eat sugar anymore, whatever.
Bethany Valenti44:26
Yeah.
Monika Sharma44:27
and you will no longer eat sugar, sweets, like it's not going hear the"no"s,
Bethany Valenti44:31
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma44:32
eat sugar,
Bethany Valenti44:33
Okay.
Monika Sharma44:34
you have to find ways to frame things in the positive, because that's what the brain will pick up on.
Bethany Valenti44:38
Yeah.
Monika Sharma44:39
doing something anymore, but what would you be doing instead? Or how will you be feeling when you choose to, focus
Bethany Valenti44:46
Okay.
Monika Sharma44:46
something else.
Bethany Valenti44:47
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma44:48
Those are some of the things that I do. I do the intake and then I do, a couple of hypnosis sessions as much as needed, but I suggest two at least.
Bethany Valenti44:55
Okay.
Monika Sharma44:55
I record the sessions. I will give that to clients so that they can also listen. I will also do what's a post hypnotics is a suggestion, which oftentimes what I'll do is I'll suggest that people maybe like press their thumb and index finger or middle finger together. But it doesn't have to be that. It could even just be like, just any kind of movement, like rolling back the shoulders or giving a little nod
Bethany Valenti45:18
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma45:19
way of then eliciting that feeling again.
Bethany Valenti45:23
Okay.
Monika Sharma45:23
And so I'll have people practice that and it just takes like a few seconds.
Bethany Valenti45:29
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma45:29
listen to the hypnosis session, it's around 20 to 30 minutes in length.
Bethany Valenti45:33
Okay.
Monika Sharma45:34
And then I'll do a follow up
Bethany Valenti45:36
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma45:37
Some people find that they're helped after just one session and they
Bethany Valenti45:40
Okay.
Monika Sharma45:40
They can take the recording with them. I do, again, suggest at least a minimum of two though, just to reinforce. And then we can use the second session to either add on to what we did in the first session or if we need to
Bethany Valenti45:50
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma45:50
somehow, or just
Bethany Valenti45:51
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma45:52
Do you have questions first about that in terms of the standalone?
Bethany Valenti45:56
No, you, I thought you put it perfectly like
Monika Sharma45:58
So when I weave it into sessions in which I'm already working with clients longer term, I will introduce hypnosis as an option
Bethany Valenti46:05
Okay.
Monika Sharma46:06
Explain a little bit about what it is, and since they're coming to me for therapy and not coming to me for hypnosis, then, you know, it's something that I may then introduce after some time as something that might help them with some anxiety or fear or some OCD tendencies, and weave it in. But I always see it in more as an invitation because they're not coming
Bethany Valenti46:26
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma46:27
for hypnosis.
Bethany Valenti46:28
Yeah.
Monika Sharma46:29
clients are interested and they'll wanna choose working with me because I can leave that into the work we do
Bethany Valenti46:34
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma46:35
But a lot of times people will find me for therapy services
Bethany Valenti46:38
Okay.
Monika Sharma46:39
Then I may take, just like, may do full sessions like I would with a standalone or I might just like do little things and explore and, you know, help them to explore under hypnosis where maybe something is stemming from, but then like bring them out and we talk about it, and then I may take them back in to hypnotic state. The more you do hypnosis is like the. If you do it for yourself, the easier it is to get into that state. You can almost do it at will
Bethany Valenti47:03
Mm.
Monika Sharma47:04
train your body to do it with certain like, kind of like a process.
Bethany Valenti47:09
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma47:10
sometimes it could just be a word, you know, it could be as simple as now just a word that can just like subtlety take you back into a pretty deep state of trance.
Bethany Valenti47:19
Wow. Okay. that sounds kinda familiar in terms of what I've heard when I went to that one training. I think the person who did it talked about using it whenever she flies because of her discomfort with flying. Just having it in some ways, just as another tool for yourself to take care of yourself. Sounds really nice.
Monika Sharma47:40
it is. And one of the things that I really like about hypnosis is that there's no side effects. You know, you're not putting anything in your body.
Bethany Valenti47:48
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma47:49
And I love to find. Ways for myself as well as to help my clients find ways to do that, where they don't feel like, they are dependent on something external to them.
Bethany Valenti48:00
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma48:01
And that's even including like me talking them through and guiding them through hypnosis. If I can help clients to learn it for themselves, then they don't need anything external.
Bethany Valenti48:12
Is there anyone who it's not a good fit for? Like, I know there's like the 5%, but is there anything that you would want people to know of, like, maybe not for you?
Monika Sharma48:21
I've had clients where maybe dissociation was already a problem for them,
Bethany Valenti48:25
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma48:27
you know, to put them in that state of dissociation, like it's more of an ES escape. it's not, they may have like some trust issues with it, with the dissociation. It could be associated with some trauma
Bethany Valenti48:38
I would.
Monika Sharma48:38
Not good candidates for
Bethany Valenti48:40
So that's the main one you'd say,
Monika Sharma48:43
I would say the main one.
Bethany Valenti48:44
okay.
Monika Sharma48:44
One thing too, like people who are highly suggestible,
Bethany Valenti48:48
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma48:49
to be mindful that when coming out of hypnosis you put things back in place.
Bethany Valenti48:54
Mm.
Monika Sharma48:55
I had once gone to a training where it was a doctor, she was an OB gyne and she used hypnosis with the women that she were giving birth.
Bethany Valenti49:03
Okay.
Monika Sharma49:03
But one of the things that she had once done is she had one woman visualize, like being I think by a stream of water and like maybe drinking from that, cool stream of water and it really helped to calm her down, but to properly bring her back out of it. she brought her out of hypnosis, but suddenly this woman is just constantly asking for water.
Bethany Valenti49:22
Oh.
Monika Sharma49:23
And so she's like, oh my gosh, I really, I didn't sort of put that back And she was
Bethany Valenti49:27
Hmm.
Monika Sharma49:28
that desire for water out with her now post hypnosis. And so she had to put her back in hypnosis and like close that, that part up. So
Bethany Valenti49:38
So what would've happened if she had not put it back?
Monika Sharma49:41
yeah, I mean, it was just this, like, she was constantly asking for water. She was at the hospital so they could see that right away
Bethany Valenti49:47
Yeah.
Monika Sharma49:48
admitted to it right away.
Bethany Valenti49:49
Yeah.
Monika Sharma49:50
so that's why also the follow ups are good to schedule. I always will follow up within a couple of days, like, how are things going?
Bethany Valenti49:55
Yeah.
Monika Sharma49:56
you know, those things are important.
Bethany Valenti49:58
Okay.
Monika Sharma49:58
Follow up.
Bethany Valenti50:00
so would she have just been perpetually thirsty or just like warm? Like what would her body have kinda like switched it off at some point? Do we know
Monika Sharma50:08
Yeah. I don't know. Like, because this, again, I was
Bethany Valenti50:10
Because you're a responsible clinician who would follow up and find out and you would take care of it.
Monika Sharma50:14
absolutely, I think it's more just that mindfulness that's there.
Bethany Valenti50:17
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma50:17
learned about it only because she had experienced it and shared her experience
Bethany Valenti50:20
Okay.
Monika Sharma50:21
with all of us
Bethany Valenti50:22
She was like, don't do this.
Monika Sharma50:23
uhhuh.
Bethany Valenti50:24
Yeah. I got you,
Monika Sharma50:26
It's, not necessarily something that you would see with most people, but some people who are just very highly suggestible
Bethany Valenti50:32
Yes.
Monika Sharma50:32
that with them post.
Bethany Valenti50:35
So what would you say clients should look for if they're looking for hypnosis from someone? Should it be with like a mental health provider? Definitely. Someone who's certified, what should they look for?
Monika Sharma50:49
Yeah. So I would, I will say that not every reason for seeking hypnosis needs to be from a mental health provider.
Bethany Valenti50:57
Okay.
Monika Sharma50:57
would say habit change,
Bethany Valenti50:59
Okay.
Monika Sharma51:00
could see, anybody who just has good experience with hypnosis has had good training. I went and got trained with the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis because they're required that you have a graduate degree in helping profession,
Bethany Valenti51:13
Okay.
Monika Sharma51:13
could be used in conjunction with the license that you already have.
Bethany Valenti51:18
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma51:18
social workers, it could be physicians, it could be dentists, it could be psychologists. But my mom couldn't go in and get trained with. The American Society of Clinical Hypnosis
Bethany Valenti51:28
Okay.
Monika Sharma51:29
Ash for short A SCH. So I also know people who do hypnosis, who don't have any background in mental health,
Bethany Valenti51:37
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma51:38
And they can be effective with, so my daughter, I actually met somebody who does hypnosis with kids, and she does not have a mental health background. she had offered to provide hypnosis for my daughter who is afraid of heights. And so
Bethany Valenti51:55
Ah.
Monika Sharma51:55
and my daughter was just like, oh, it was really cool. She does climbing as an activity
Bethany Valenti51:59
Oh, cool.
Monika Sharma52:01
And that, but she can only get so far. And then she's like, okay, back down again. Like, that's it. I'm good. And so she hasn't, like, it's really tough for her to go to the top of the higher walls. And so she, my daughter was game for trying this So she's like, I felt like I was actually there. and so it was and she's gonna do a second session actually later this week.
Bethany Valenti52:21
Okay.
Monika Sharma52:22
Like how,'cause we are just in the middle of this now, but she's someone who doesn't have a mental health background and I feel okay with my daughter seeing her for this particular reason.
Bethany Valenti52:30
Okay.
Monika Sharma52:30
to get to the top of the wall.
Bethany Valenti52:32
Okay.
Monika Sharma52:33
I would say if there is a mental health component to why you're going
Bethany Valenti52:37
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma52:38
it would be important to see someone with a mental health background
Bethany Valenti52:42
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma52:43
They can open up a box of worms and again, not know how to put things back together. So I
Bethany Valenti52:47
Yes.
Monika Sharma52:48
try to have, again, like network with other people who just do hypnosis because that can help without intending it. Even sometimes for the simple things that seem like just climbing a wall, like it doesn't seem to be. To have trauma interwoven in that, but it
Bethany Valenti53:01
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma53:02
could. And so, the other thing though is that people get trained based on their profession. So it may be that you go to see the dentist and a lot of like anxiety about seeing the dentist.
Bethany Valenti53:15
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma53:16
a trained dentist may then help you calm down and relax
Bethany Valenti53:20
Yeah.
Monika Sharma53:21
chair or giving birth.
Bethany Valenti53:23
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma53:24
suggested
Bethany Valenti53:25
it?
Monika Sharma53:25
water, she was an OB gyne, so a medically trained
Bethany Valenti53:29
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma53:30
physician, but she used to do it to help women with natural childbirth
Bethany Valenti53:35
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma53:36
birth.
Bethany Valenti53:36
Okay. So before we wrap up, can we kind of just get a sense of like, overall the work that you like to do? So I know you like to work with single mothers by choice, midlife and business and entrepreneurs kind of high achieving, would you say or?
Monika Sharma53:55
Burnout. Yeah. It's the high achieving like, so people who are just have been pushing themselves and pushing themselves and pushing themselves and doing all the things, and starting to feel like the burnout
Bethany Valenti54:03
Yes.
Monika Sharma54:03
from that.
Bethany Valenti54:04
That's, it's just good work. I love that. So where are you licensed?
Monika Sharma54:10
I am licensed in Illinois, but I'm also as a psychologist. I'm part of PSYPACT, which allows me to work with clients from other states who are participating in PSYPACT. if ever a client was interested to find out if they're not in Illinois and they were interested in working with me, they can find out if their state is included by going to the website, which is,
Bethany Valenti54:30
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma54:30
Bethany Valenti54:32
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma54:32
of the states that are included, and then
Bethany Valenti54:35
Yep,
Monika Sharma54:35
haven't begun
Bethany Valenti54:36
I love that site. I always just Google PSYPACT Map anytime. I just need to pull it up.'Cause they have like that handy map that makes it very fast.'cause you just find your state really quickly. So based on that you see in-person and virtual or just virtual now, are you exclusively online?
Monika Sharma54:52
I have been this year exclusively online, but I did just decide to get an office with a colleague
Bethany Valenti54:59
Okay.
Monika Sharma55:00
in Chicago,
Bethany Valenti55:01
Okay.
Monika Sharma55:01
about.
Bethany Valenti55:03
Yes.
Monika Sharma55:04
People keep
Bethany Valenti55:04
Connection people. Yes.
Monika Sharma55:07
Exactly.
Bethany Valenti55:08
do you have openings right now?
Monika Sharma55:09
I do have openings right
Bethany Valenti55:11
Yay.
Monika Sharma55:12
so yeah, if people are interested in seeing me, then they can email me.
Bethany Valenti55:16
Yeah.
Monika Sharma55:16
I work from, like more of an acceptance and commitment to therapy
Bethany Valenti55:20
favorite? Yes.
Monika Sharma55:21
accept, obviously it's in the name, but this acceptance, like we cannot avoid pain. And it's learning how to increase flexibility and increase tolerance for those painful situations as they come up in life.
Bethany Valenti55:34
Hmm.
Monika Sharma55:34
we can move through it with some intention and really like holding onto the things that we value most
Bethany Valenti55:40
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma55:41
that as sort of our guiding light.
Bethany Valenti55:43
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma55:43
staying committed and taking action and intentionally leaning in discomfort when that discomfort serves us. That's how growth happens.
Bethany Valenti55:49
Yes.
Monika Sharma55:50
And plus I love using metaphors
Bethany Valenti55:52
Oh my God, yes.
Monika Sharma55:54
them just to
Bethany Valenti55:55
Metaphor person.
Monika Sharma55:56
So I mostly come from that. I have been trained in a systems theory and so I
Bethany Valenti56:01
Mm,
Monika Sharma56:02
I've done couples therapy, but it's really about people in the context in which they like, what shaped them as a person. And I see within themselves with the relationships, also beliefs and values. You know, just their culture, just what's going on in the world, which is a lot
Bethany Valenti56:19
mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma56:20
all of these things, how they shape us, our generation, our just identity all of
Bethany Valenti56:25
Your whole self? All of it. And not taking insurance? Correct.
Monika Sharma56:30
And not taking insurance.
Bethany Valenti56:31
And your current fee is
Monika Sharma56:33
So for an intake, it's two 50
Bethany Valenti56:35
Okay.
Monika Sharma56:36
my fees for sessions is 225.
Bethany Valenti56:38
Okay.
Monika Sharma56:38
So I, do also provide courtesy billing just to make things easier, where then a client, they just pay for the service, but then I submit all of the paperwork so that they can get some reimbursement from insurance companies if they've out of network benefits that cover it.
Bethany Valenti56:53
Okay. Are you a coffee or tea person?
Monika Sharma56:56
Coffee,
Bethany Valenti56:57
Coffee.
Monika Sharma56:58
except at my parents' house because my parents make good Indian tea,
Bethany Valenti57:02
is it chai or is it something else?
Monika Sharma57:03
Yep, they do.
Bethany Valenti57:04
When I went to India, we drank so much chai and it was amazing.
Monika Sharma57:07
Oh, I didn't know you went to India.
Bethany Valenti57:09
was converted to chai love, but I swear when you buy chai though, it just, the bags like, it's so not the same. Like, you need like the, like it's just tea. Like I want the milk, I want the sugar, like I want the, the love.
Monika Sharma57:23
like just different spices and things that go through it
Bethany Valenti57:26
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma57:27
The Indian, the Indian word for it, but just like the, the cor, the not coriander, is that what I'm trying to
Bethany Valenti57:34
It might,
Monika Sharma57:35
might,
Bethany Valenti57:35
like I've heard that before.
Monika Sharma57:37
It's a che is what they call it in India.
Bethany Valenti57:39
Mm.
Monika Sharma57:39
You know,
Bethany Valenti57:40
Cool.
Monika Sharma57:40
cloves and things like that.
Bethany Valenti57:41
Yeah. Yeah. It's like it all like simmers together, right?
Monika Sharma57:46
Oh yeah.
Bethany Valenti57:46
Oh Yeah. Simmer in the love, all that good stuff. And are you, do you have any pets,
Monika Sharma57:53
I do,
Bethany Valenti57:53
dog?
Monika Sharma57:54
you heard me like, she's gonna start barking right
Bethany Valenti57:56
I think that was before we started recording. That was fun. What kind do you have?
Monika Sharma58:00
She's a mix between a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and Bichon Frisé,
Bethany Valenti58:04
Wow.
Monika Sharma58:05
So a term Cavachon
Bethany Valenti58:07
And so one of the things I'm just curious about is what do you like nerd out about? Is there just something that you're just like super into or like to share with people that your clients wouldn't normally know about you?
Monika Sharma58:17
I, you know, this year I'll say that quitting the group practice and getting myself, I have been reading like crazy. I'm like,
Bethany Valenti58:25
Yes.
Monika Sharma58:26
list those books now.
Bethany Valenti58:28
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma58:28
as well as
Bethany Valenti58:29
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma58:29
things have been helping me
Bethany Valenti58:32
Yeah,
Monika Sharma58:32
the direction that I wanna go professionally. But, oh my gosh, fiction, It's just like this great escape
Bethany Valenti58:39
it's wonderful.
Monika Sharma58:39
introduced me to romantasy
Bethany Valenti58:42
I love those, both psychological thrillers and fantasy and romantasy, all that stuff. It's so fun.
Monika Sharma58:47
Just like it's the best escape.
Bethany Valenti58:49
Yeah. one of the reasons I gave up reading to the extent that I love to read while I was in grad school is'cause I was like, that is all I will do.
Monika Sharma58:57
mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti58:58
What are you reading right now?
Monika Sharma59:00
So I just finished the the last with Silver of Silver Flames.
Bethany Valenti59:04
Hmm mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma59:05
I just finished
Bethany Valenti59:05
Yep.
Monika Sharma59:06
that.
Bethany Valenti59:06
That one's long.
Monika Sharma59:08
That one
Bethany Valenti59:08
Yeah, that one's got such good trauma stuff in there. I like, the trauma stuff in that one was pretty good.
Monika Sharma59:13
rarely read the acknowledgement section of the book,
Bethany Valenti59:16
Mm.
Monika Sharma59:16
I did in that particular book, and she did talk about how so much of the character of Nesta
Bethany Valenti59:23
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma59:23
trauma that Nesta had gone through. Like, she really based a lot of Nesta based on her own life and
Bethany Valenti59:30
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma59:32
from therapy.
Bethany Valenti59:33
Wow.
Monika Sharma59:34
she wove into that book.
Bethany Valenti59:35
Yes.
Monika Sharma59:36
and move through it,
Bethany Valenti59:37
Yeah.
Monika Sharma59:38
Not like therapy.
Bethany Valenti59:39
Yeah. I know there was some stuff in there where you were like, alright.
Monika Sharma59:42
I know.
Bethany Valenti59:43
Yeah. Or I often do audio books, especially these days with little kids. So I don't often get the acknowledgement. Sometimes I get some afterwards or whatever. Do you have like a pet peeve that you see out there?
Monika Sharma59:56
No, I mean, I've got a lot of things that I'd like to see change in our system of
Bethany Valenti1:00:00
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:00:01
mental healthcare. I do not feel like our mental health care supports the mental health providers very well, and I know we also don't see it supporting our, the clients in general very well either with accessibility and things. has being taken over by corporations
Bethany Valenti1:00:19
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:00:19
that sort of power and the work is sort of moving away from just about the clinician and the client. And I know that this also happened with the healthcare field in general. My dad is a retired physician and he was going through those changes, I think starting in the 1990s and
Bethany Valenti1:00:36
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:00:36
must say over how the work
Bethany Valenti1:00:39
Yeah.
Monika Sharma1:00:40
Again, another reason I decided to step out of that system with insurance ai, is still very new.
Bethany Valenti1:00:47
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:00:47
to wrap my mind around it.
Bethany Valenti1:00:51
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:00:52
I find it helpful for some things.
Bethany Valenti1:00:55
Hmm.
Monika Sharma1:00:55
it could be great source of support
Bethany Valenti1:00:58
Yeah.
Monika Sharma1:00:58
I personally do not think that we should be using the word therapy to call what AI does.
Bethany Valenti1:01:04
No.
Monika Sharma1:01:05
to see a distinction be made and some education
Bethany Valenti1:01:08
Hmm.
Monika Sharma1:01:08
this is what it's really helpful for
Bethany Valenti1:01:11
Yeah.
Monika Sharma1:01:11
great tool
Bethany Valenti1:01:13
Yep.
Monika Sharma1:01:14
this is what it also where its limitations
Bethany Valenti1:01:17
Oh yeah.
Monika Sharma1:01:17
where an actual relationship with the therapist can help.
Bethany Valenti1:01:20
And do you have a favorite skill that you like to give clients?
Monika Sharma1:01:24
A lot of the breathing techniques.
Bethany Valenti1:01:26
Hmm mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:01:27
of times people, I mean anxiety is one of the number one
Bethany Valenti1:01:29
Not breathing.
Monika Sharma1:01:30
exactly breathing tips is something that I will give to just about every client to
Bethany Valenti1:01:34
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:01:35
or help them calm down if they're feeling a little bit
Bethany Valenti1:01:37
Yes. It taps into that mind body connection so quickly, I feel like
Monika Sharma1:01:42
it does. And also helping people to recognize like, you know, this is our life is like a lot of also series of moments that are sort of like together. But like how to realize that whatever you're going through right now is not the end of the story, you know?
Bethany Valenti1:01:57
Mm,
Monika Sharma1:01:57
being the age that I am, lived now, I don't know how many cycles of like challenge and difficulty
Bethany Valenti1:02:03
yeah.
Monika Sharma1:02:04
just the crumbled or ruined and then it's like suddenly something really amazing starts to spring to life from that. and so just trusting in that process too, like we are continuing to just have these cycles.
Bethany Valenti1:02:19
Mm.
Monika Sharma1:02:20
there's opportunity in that for something new
Bethany Valenti1:02:23
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:02:24
Something
Bethany Valenti1:02:24
Well, Monica, where can people find you if they wanna work with you or learn more about you?
Monika Sharma1:02:29
My, practice is called Sharma Psychology. And that was also, I was going to name it something else.
Bethany Valenti1:02:35
Mm-hmm.
Monika Sharma1:02:35
yourself.
Bethany Valenti1:02:36
It rolls off the tongue really nicely. Sharma psychology,
Monika Sharma1:02:39
thank you. So I'm gonna keep it, it is what I'm owning it is my last name, Sharma Psychology. And,
Bethany Valenti1:02:43
Yes.
Monika Sharma1:02:44
My website is sharma psych.com and that is S-H-A-R-M-A-P-S-Y-C h.com. And people can email me at Monika, and my name is spelled at the K, so it's M-O-N-I-K-A psych.com. my phone number is three one two nine five five. 3 1 2 9 5 5 1 2 1 2.
Bethany Valenti1:03:08
I do this, too., I'm laughing with you. I like my business line. I'm like, wait. I felt it. Dr. Monica Sharma, thank you so much for your time today.
Monika Sharma1:03:17
Thank You for having me.
