Episode 5. Geek Therapy & Geek Culture with Certified Geek Therapist Tiffany Graves, LPCC-S
What is Geek Therapy? How can I use gaming and other interests into therapy?
In this episode, Bethany talks with Tiffany Graves shares about her unique approach to therapy, integrating gaming, anime, and popular culture to create relatable and effective therapeutic experiences. Learn about her certification in Geek Therapy, using Dungeons & Dragons in group therapy, and the innovative ways she engages clients through tailored gaming analogies and exercises.
Say Hello to Your Therapist is a podcast where Bethany gets to sit down with fellow mental health professionals and have real talk about our work!
Available to listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and other apps. Available to watch on YouTube! Follow the Instagram page for updates.
Bethany’s Links:
Say Hello to Your Therapist Instagram
Other socials:
Find more from Tiffany:
Therapeutic Dungeons & Dragons Group
Deciphering Growth Podcast Instagram
Things & people we talked about:
Geek Therapeutics & Certified Geek Therapist Locator
Transcript
Bethany Valenti
Welcome, Tiffany. how about you tell me about what made you become a therapist? How did you find your way there?
TIffany Graves1:07
Oh, well that's a bumpy ride.
Bethany Valenti1:10
Yeah.
TIffany Graves1:11
So originally, no plans at all. Never crossed my mind to be a therapist ever. Wasn't in the cards.
Bethany Valenti1:19
Wow.
TIffany Graves1:20
I started originally as wanting to be a graphic designer,
Bethany Valenti1:24
Oh.
TIffany Graves1:24
art, person, but after being terrified by my art professors that I'm going to be starving because art starving artist isn't just a joke, it's an actual thing.
Bethany Valenti1:35
Yeah. Yeah.
TIffany Graves1:36
exploring different options and I fell into like the science of what is psychology?
Bethany Valenti1:43
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves1:44
and that kind of catapulted me into like, oh my gosh, people are fascinating and like the brain can do amazing things. and that kind of led me on my journey to wait a minute. I wanna help people recognize just how cool their brain is and just kind of like gain control over it in some shape or form.
Bethany Valenti2:04
I feel like I'm hearing you say like, how do we use the brain for like. The term that's coming to mind is for good instead of evil. And that's, that feels really extreme. I'm thinking more of like, let's hone it, you know, and like boost it where we can maybe is more of what I'm thinking of.
TIffany Graves2:24
it's like, it's a huge powerhouse and sometimes we just let it run rampant and it needs a little bit of some guidelines where it's like, we don't need to spend energy here or spend energy there. let's hone in where the energy's going.
Bethany Valenti2:37
Yeah. Absolutely.
TIffany Graves2:39
Another way to think about it is, I don't know, do you have a favorite video game by chance?
Bethany Valenti2:44
Hmm. No short answer is no. I always like talking to people though about video gaming. 'cause I grew up watching a sibling play video games. I was not allowed to join, but I was
TIffany Graves3:01
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti3:01
Like they liked my companionship, they liked my company watching it. So like, the most, I've really gotten very little exposure to actually playing any myself. I hear a lot about games. I've watched a lot of certain stuff, so I understand different concepts of it. so even, I've even talked to different people about how different stages of life, like you're leveling up and you need different tools and how you get stuff from different, so I have analogies from gaming,
TIffany Graves3:26
Okay. I just wanted to check, just to make sure
Bethany Valenti3:28
yeah.
TIffany Graves3:29
you into the left field, but I always tell people it's like you're stuck on side quests. Like
Bethany Valenti3:33
Ooh,
TIffany Graves3:33
your brain is like
Bethany Valenti3:34
yeah.
TIffany Graves3:35
Oh my gosh I know this main quest I need to do. But if you're not like utilizing your energy appropriately, brain's like, oh, side quest and this side quest, and then it's you're 20 side quests deep and you're like, what was I actually supposed to be doing now I'm freaking out. 'cause I don't know where to clear out some of these side quests.
Bethany Valenti3:51
Yeah. And how do you prioritize different quests? And I feel like in some games, the side quests are like necessary. And that's where you get certain skill sets. You gotta like utilize the different tools of the game. 'cause that's where you get your, like you get your xp, like you get your experience and you get, you're able to level up on certain skills and everything so that you can fight the bosses later. So it's weird but it's just like there are different side quests that you can prioritize for different reasons, right?
TIffany Graves4:21
Yeah, it is kind of like making sure that you're not getting stuck too far into the weeds of side quest.
Bethany Valenti4:27
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves4:27
come across side quests where it's like, this bottle to so and so and you get like five coins for it. And I'm like, that wasn't energy that I needed to waste. And
Bethany Valenti4:40
I would rather have done this other task
TIffany Graves4:42
in life where it's like, oh, I have to do this thing at all if I don't want to, unless I'm just wasting time for the fun of it.
Bethany Valenti4:49
Yeah. Do you have a real life example of how that could apply to choosing which side quest to focus on?
TIffany Graves4:56
Yeah. So side quest of doing the laundry versus the side quest of like going grocery shopping, they're both kind of monotonous and like, eh, I don't really wanna waste energy. depending on the severity, like, oh my gosh, if I go grocery shopping, at least that side quest helps me, refuel me
Bethany Valenti5:12
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves5:13
the day to come.
Bethany Valenti5:14
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves5:14
and like for the weeks to come versus the laundry, it's like you could potentially fall into that with, well, I did the laundry and like I had other times I could have done the laundry
Bethany Valenti5:24
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves5:25
it's done. I don't really know that I feel satisfied that I done that I did the laundry well now it's done
Bethany Valenti5:30
Laundry is a never ending thing. So is like the food thing though. You gotta fuel yourself, you know? You need those health points.
TIffany Graves5:37
You do. I don't know if you've ever seen anyone play a survival game, but it's on some level like that reflects life almost a little too well, and that you're constantly like trying to get food, you're constantly having to cook, you're constantly having to go out and gather things. You're constantly having to like pick up sticks for firewood. And it's
Bethany Valenti5:54
Yeah.
TIffany Graves5:55
there are those tasks in life where it's like, it looks like today's gonna be a boring day of picking up sticks and prepping food
Bethany Valenti6:03
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves6:04
killing wild boar so that tomorrow I can go do this quest.
Bethany Valenti6:07
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this is partly why I was so excited to have you on here. 'cause I love these types of analogies so much. and I feel like you're just gonna be able to take it and just run with it. Even blow my mind with all the different stuff that you can do with it. Have you always kind of brought in like gaming type stuff or other, I know that like geek is the term that you apply to it, correct?
TIffany Graves6:30
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti6:30
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves6:32
as a baby therapist, which I know that's to some people, controversial statement, but I was
Bethany Valenti6:38
Lil baby.
TIffany Graves6:38
Out, it was very are the theories,
Bethany Valenti6:41
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves6:42
these are the things that you're supposed to do. Worksheet, worksheet, worksheet, kind of mentality. it always felt like I get it, but like, I don't like this cookie cutter. It doesn't
Bethany Valenti6:52
Yeah.
TIffany Graves6:53
like I can relate to people this way, like this,
Bethany Valenti6:56
Yeah.
TIffany Graves6:56
inauthentic.
Bethany Valenti6:58
Yeah.
TIffany Graves6:59
I slowly started sneaking things in with coloring, and then I found oh, I can have them make their life into a comic strip and started doing things that way.
Bethany Valenti7:09
Cool.
TIffany Graves7:09
and then eventually it just got to a point to where I was like, I'm tired of the oppression of what I should be doing as a therapist.
Bethany Valenti7:17
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves7:18
I, I'm just gonna figure out how to do this ethically and relate to people because like, I cannot be the only person therapist or not therapist. That's like, I need something that actually jives with my world.
Bethany Valenti7:31
Mm-hmm. I feel like there's so much importance to be able to speak your client's language, like no matter what that is. And sometimes the worksheets, like they definitely have their place. I think there is very much power for clients when they see like something written down.
TIffany Graves7:47
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti7:47
it creates this validation and sense of affirmation and reality for something that they're either experiencing or structure and reinforcement of what they're trying to do. And I mean, depending on who you're working with too, like therapy can, I know a lot, there are therapists that really like homework or utilize homework and there are clients that really like homework. So you like homework, you're one of those, but is it worksheet homework or is it like, hey, like why don't you try this, this week? Like what's your kind of homework?
TIffany Graves8:19
It's a mixture It is tailored more to the person. I do have a foundational structure. I tend to lean on of like, Hey, I'm gonna send you this psychoeducational stuff. It'll have exercises in it, do it at your pace. By no means is it gonna be like, we can't do therapy if you don't show up. It's just more of like, I want you to have extra information you're working on so that we can actually focus on more of the meat and potatoes and stuff.
Bethany Valenti8:43
Right, right. it's just the reality that if you're only getting an hour of them a week, you know the rest, they're living the rest of their lives all of that time. And if there's no direction given then that can, or at least direction, homework direction, like whatever term you want to use. Even like reflection
TIffany Graves9:06
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti9:07
It's sort, it is possible for them to kind of do it on their own, but I think clients and us like really appreciate knowing that there's more to acknowledging the work that is outside of the room, I think is what I'm trying to say. I went on a side quest to tell that story, but I feel like you understand what I was going for.
TIffany Graves9:26
Yeah, because the way I like to frame it is like therapy itself is the main quest that we're gonna be working on to achieve. Like whatever objective you brought into session,
Bethany Valenti9:34
Okay
TIffany Graves9:35
I'm giving you these side questing to try outside of session. 'cause if you're not, you know, practicing and learning skills,
Bethany Valenti9:42
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves9:43
to the end of our objective and go like, we don't have anything. Like we are still level two and this is a level 50 boss. We're kinda fucked.
Bethany Valenti9:52
Yeah. We've done nothing to prepare for the boss. Like really? Other than like, think about it, you know?
TIffany Graves9:59
Yeah. We talked
Bethany Valenti10:00
only halfway there.
TIffany Graves10:01
Now we're here. We're recognizing, damn
Bethany Valenti10:03
Yeah.
TIffany Graves10:04
we didn't do anything we were supposed to be doing. Now we have to
Bethany Valenti10:06
like you said, level 50 boss and are we at level, like, are we gonna get to level 50 with just the time that we have versus if it's just us, we could get to level 50 but probably not at the same rate. And your Level 50 boss might be that you have a presentation at work or an upcoming family event. That's gonna be really challenging. And if we don't kind of do some other stuff to help you prepare, then you're gonna go in maybe at level 30 for a level 50
TIffany Graves10:37
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti10:38
event,
TIffany Graves10:39
Which is
Bethany Valenti10:40
kind of,
TIffany Graves10:41
strategically doable
Bethany Valenti10:43
yeah.
TIffany Graves10:44
if you're, you wanna try it that
Bethany Valenti10:46
You can do it. you'll likely survive, you know? Yeah.
TIffany Graves10:49
there's,
Bethany Valenti10:50
Sometimes.
TIffany Graves10:50
YouTubers, if you wanna
Bethany Valenti10:51
Yeah.
TIffany Graves10:52
where they have level one, upgraded nothing and beat games. So it's doable. It's just, it's legit life on hard mode.
Bethany Valenti10:59
Yeah. which a lot of the time they're doing already. So you could have done that. And sometimes having a therapist to help them is enough for some people to be able to say, but other times it's like, Hey, Let's try some of these other things to see if it can give you a boost a little bit more quickly so you could feel more ready.
TIffany Graves11:15
Yeah. There's nothing wrong with cracking some extra XP valves and being like, woo, I leveled up
Bethany Valenti11:20
I love this so much. This is so great. Like this time. Oh, okay. when, so you started bringing this in yourself, what type of work do you do with clients? Do you work with adults, teenagers? what's your specialty? I know we're gonna focus on geeky and the, I keep saying, I worry that it sounds derogatory to say like we're focusing on geeky stuff, but like, that's the passion, that's the excitement. So I'm excited to talk about it, But like, how are you, like what work are you doing, where you are applying it, I should say?
TIffany Graves11:50
Yeah. So I work with a range of ages, but I primarily have been moving towards, twenties and older as the years have going, it's just a lot harder to implement the things that I wanna implement with younger kids. It takes more breaking down, and I'm not gonna lie, as I get older, my brain is like, I wanna do the hard stuff.
Bethany Valenti12:10
Mm. Level up.
TIffany Graves12:12
yeah, I'm an NPCU hit later in life, guys. I don't wanna be that beginner NPC anymore.
Bethany Valenti12:17
And I was about to say, I feel like I've been keeping up so far. That was the first term that just went way over my head.
TIffany Graves 12:23
Oh, so a, non uh, player, like it's a computer, a non-player computer in your game
Bethany Valenti 12:29
Ah,
TIffany Graves 12:29
that you interact with.
Bethany Valenti 12:31
Okay. So you're saying you don't wanna be that,
TIffany Graves 12:34
So like whenever you, if you've ever played a game and you start off and you usually get someone like, Hey, how's it going?
Bethany Valenti 12:40
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 12:41
world. This is all the information. I feel like that's kind of how I view like more of your
Bethany Valenti 12:47
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 12:47
and adolescent therapist, which totally respect the work they do.
Bethany Valenti 12:51
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 12:52
could not do it long term. It's a really important place to be,
Bethany Valenti 12:55
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 12:55
but I'm more of like the, so you killed all the stuff like Big Boss is back here. Are you actually ready to deal with
Bethany Valenti 13:02
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 13:03
kind of later in life NPC person?
Bethany Valenti 13:07
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 13:07
That being said, it kind of varies. So if my client has more knowledge on D&D, which that being said, I am not the expert that some of my clients have been and I still continuously learn from them. 'cause these realms with inside of geek therapy are huge. so I will sometimes integrate that when they come across a problem and frame it in the way of like, alright, well if this was your character in your d and d campaign and they had to interact with said person or had to deal with this person, would that look like? How would you deal with that on a game basis?
Bethany Valenti 13:41
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 13:42
people are like, yeah, I've dealt with this in the game. I'm like, okay. how can you cross apply that? Because if you're telling me you have the skill, what's the reason we're not using it in real life?
Bethany Valenti 13:51
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 13:52
and that one can be pretty powerful. And the other thing is just comparing like their favorite games to their life
Bethany Valenti 13:58
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 13:58
a favorite one I like to use is the Dark Souls or Elden Ring Series. And I'm not a fantastic gamer, not even gonna pretend to be.
Bethany Valenti 14:05
Hmm.
TIffany Graves 14:06
but there's plenty of times when I hit a wall and I'm like, okay, I can sit here for hours and like,
Bethany Valenti 14:12
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 14:12
consistently die over and over and over
Bethany Valenti 14:14
Yeah. Keep trying.
TIffany Graves 14:16
and keep trying. Or I can stop and look at it and be like, what else can I go do? Do I need to go grind for levels? Do I need to like find skills that I like, need to go do some side class to
Bethany Valenti 14:27
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 14:27
me strategically be more prepared for this thing in life?
Bethany Valenti 14:30
Yeah,
TIffany Graves 14:31
just like that, like big presentation, I'm like, alright, well that boss is this presentation. How do we prepare for it? What steps do we need to take?
Bethany Valenti 14:38
Yeah. So great. I think I'm also, when you were saying, what else can I do, I was even thinking do we need to consult with someone who's played the game already? You know what I mean? I know there are, like, I know there's like cheat codes or whatever kind of stuff out there, but would it help to do some homework too, right?
TIffany Graves 14:55
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti 14:56
like the people who are YouTubing or on the streaming service. What's it called? Twitch. Is it Twitch?
TIffany Graves 15:00
yeah, yeah,
Bethany Valenti 15:01
You're not the first person who's played the game, like people have played the game before, like people sink hours into this and have done a lot of the work for you. is that a helpful metaphor too of you're not alone out there, but like we can learn from other people? I guess it's just like exploring the different types of resources available. Like, oh, someone does say actually yeah, you need to go do this side quest to do that.
TIffany Graves 15:21
it can be applicable. I mean, it's a great space to get like commentary and guides on like, you know what to do. I know some streamers will just say, Hey, like, it's a viewer's choice today. Tell me what to go do.
Bethany Valenti 15:35
Hmm.
TIffany Graves 15:36
can be a unique learning experience as well. It creates a really cool sense of community as well, like being able
Bethany Valenti 15:40
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 15:41
that interaction with others
Bethany Valenti 15:42
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 15:43
like, don't even have to know who you are to
Bethany Valenti 15:45
Right.
TIffany Graves 15:46
feedback.
Bethany Valenti 15:47
Yeah. And I think to me it's like that's where we could potentially incorporate things outside of the room. like, for instance, curating your social media with stuff that's gonna be more helpful or reading into different ideas, having conversations with friends and family, kinda other types of resources that could be similar to that. Does that make sense?
TIffany Graves 16:14
Yeah, so like that role modeling.
Bethany Valenti 16:16
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 16:17
There's
Bethany Valenti 16:17
you.
TIffany Graves 16:17
really, the Balder's Gate is really fun for using, role-playing interactions. It doesn't have as much variability if you were just doing it, like creating your own campaign,
Bethany Valenti 16:27
Mm.
TIffany Graves 16:27
having people like play through, even if it's just a short section and just saying like, how did your choices based on what you was. the choices you were given to React, how did that impact, like the relationship, how did that impact what was going on between those two characters,
Bethany Valenti 16:43
Mm.
TIffany Graves 16:44
think about what it is? What do I wanna say? How do I wanna say it? What impact could this have when I do say it?
Bethany Valenti 16:50
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 16:50
a less, consequential form.
Bethany Valenti 16:53
Yeah. I love this. Okay, So you started out kind of incorporating this on your own? Correct. were you just finding that, like this type of analogy, is it always gaming for instance, is it sometimes other things because people could geek out about so many different stuff, right?
TIffany Graves 17:09
Sometimes it's
Bethany Valenti 17:10
I.
TIffany Graves 17:10
sometimes it's board games. So that
Bethany Valenti 17:12
Right?
TIffany Graves 17:12
bit more of a. Sketch realm for me. sometimes it's anime
Bethany Valenti 17:17
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 17:17
are like, I relate to this character. I think my hero, academia is a big one.
Bethany Valenti 17:23
Oh, yeah, I've heard of that one.
TIffany Graves 17:24
that one comes up quite often. I know one piece is a big popular one right now. there's one of my favorites is Mob Psych 100. Really good to break things in. and then like, also like just general pop culture, like the Avengers can be used.
Bethany Valenti 17:39
I was just thinking about yeah, all the Avengers, all the Marvel, like those kinds of films.
TIffany Graves 17:44
And then there is, it just came across my email not that long ago where there is a, training where talking about how you can use the Nightmare before Christmas to help people process through really difficult emotions related to the holidays and stuff.
Bethany Valenti 17:57
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 17:57
like you can be, if you have the knowledge to really dive down and break apart
Bethany Valenti 18:02
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 18:02
those connections with people, there's a
Bethany Valenti 18:05
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 18:05
huge array of just like media that can be used. and I have an entire, well, not almost an entire bookshelf of just like the Legend of Zelda, the
Bethany Valenti 18:15
Right.
TIffany Graves 18:16
like all of them that are broken down into how
Bethany Valenti 18:18
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 18:19
them in, therapeutic ways.
Bethany Valenti 18:21
Yeah. And it feels very like specialized. 'cause I feel depending on the person, the both as therapist and the client, but I know that there are therapists out there that bring in like Taylor Swift lyrics, you know what I mean? Like, there's, there's so much out there. I had a client that really, really got into this is years ago, BoJack Horseman. Like there are just, there's stuff out there that like speaks to you and if we can understand that, helps us very quickly realize like what we connect to. Like we took, I even asked a client like, you know, I knew that Marvel was important to this client, and I finally was like, which, which one do you feel like you relate to the most? Like, which Avenger? or what person in the Marvel universe do you relate to the most? And that was really just, that's just like so interesting and insightful information and it helps you know your person that much more. And hopefully they even feel that much more seen and understood on connecting in their world.
TIffany Graves 19:16
Yeah. It gives them something that is relatable to them and it creates that bridge of understanding where it's not like. at least some, the populations that I work with, they're like, oh my gosh. Like someone actually gets it, like there's that bridge that kind of bridges you from therapist to client and kind of on some level, for me it feels like it dissolves the power dynamic. 'cause it's so much like we're in the same realm. We can talk about the same things. We can be on the same page and,
Bethany Valenti 19:43
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 19:44
and kind of walk from a same page level
Bethany Valenti 19:47
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 19:48
that dynamic sometimes that I've heard about where it's like I'm just doing what my therapist told me to do because like, you know, that that's how it works. I'm like, it works for some people.
Bethany Valenti 19:57
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 19:58
necessarily work for everyone.
Bethany Valenti 19:59
And it's, it almost feels like a time saver in some ways. It's like a time saver and like relationship builder.
TIffany Graves 20:07
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti 20:08
yeah.
TIffany Graves 20:08
It's like a really quick way and some people might. balk at the idea, but a really quick way just to insert yourself into your client's world and be Hey, like this is, I get it. I see these, I see these walls, I see these things that you're interested. I, I get it. Like, how do we use what you have to keep you moving forward.
Bethany Valenti 20:29
It's already accessible for them. That's gonna be their line of thinking and day in, day out. So why would we, I don't know. Why would we be like, okay, do this worksheet to teach them something that they may already have a sense of, but like could understand and connect to more quickly in the world of what they're interested in.
TIffany Graves 20:51
Yeah, and then that's in a comfort zone for them. So you're not asking them to like, alright, I need you to come sit in this white sterilized square and learn these new skills and then hopefully translate them.
Bethany Valenti 21:02
Mm.
TIffany Graves 21:02
like, no, no, you can, you can stay in your cool vibey space. I'll come join you. Let's figure out like how we can make
Bethany Valenti 21:08
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 21:09
work for you.
Bethany Valenti 21:10
Mm-hmm. And one of the reasons I was so excited to have you on here was because I knew that I had seen, you know, you advertising for a number of different things. Like for instance, putting out there that you had a tabletop role playing like group game. Am I remembering right? And I've seen that done before, by other clinicians at different, spaces that I've been at and have always just loved hearing about how that can translate. So I'd love to talk about that, but also what I saw was that you'd shared that you got a geek therapy certification? Correct. That You would just finish that up? Is that what it's called?
TIffany Graves 21:48
Yeah, so it's a certified Geek therapist. it's through Geek Therapeutics.
Bethany Valenti 21:53
Okay.
TIffany Graves 21:53
awesome realm. They have a Discord server. they're technically based in Virginia. but they just do a lot of trainings about popular culture, anime games and everything, and like deep dive trainings into what it is. But they also train you on like. How to apply the psychology to these cultural things in a way that like makes sense and isn't harmful. They train you on the ethics of it, the HIPAA compliance of doing like games, virtually all of that nature. So that we're still, we're essentially still in the realm of play therapy, but we are making play therapy bigger. We are making it more accessible. It does not have to be sand trays and paint, not to throw shade at the play therapy
Bethany Valenti 22:36
Right.
TIffany Graves 22:37
they're awesome.
Bethany Valenti 22:38
Good.
TIffany Graves 22:38
more to play than just like coloring and sand trays and it's not just for kids
Bethany Valenti 22:44
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 22:45
we are adults that also need to play and keep our brain going and being creative.
Bethany Valenti 22:52
it's really important, neurologically Correct. To kind of maintain play and creativity.
TIffany Graves 22:57
And it really sharpens and hones in problem solving skills.
Bethany Valenti 23:01
I love this. So how long did it take you?
TIffany Graves 23:05
so technically they only give you 12 months to fit in all of the trainings. So it was a wonderful year of stress and trying to complete, I think it was almost 300 hours of training.
Bethany Valenti 23:20
Oh.
TIffany Graves 23:20
It was overwhelming. and then there's two different tests you have to take. I think it's yearly. I have to double check. And you have to do 12 reoccurring credit hours just to maintain your credential. Yeah.
Bethany Valenti 23:32
Okay. I'm assuming you're planning on doing that.
TIffany Graves 23:36
I do plan on doing that. The one thing I do just wanna be very clear about is it's not like, recognized more so in the APA realm, it's not like the a ACA isn't like, oh my gosh, we need to do this.
Bethany Valenti 23:48
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 23:48
it is still kind of very frowned upon despite the fact that it a branch of play therapy. It's not anything that's new, it's just a newer kind of how play therapy can be applied. but it's not in the same realm as CBT and EMDR and, you know, all of those things.
Bethany Valenti 24:04
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 24:05
I know there's gonna be people that are gonna look at me and be like, you play video games, like, everyone does that.
Bethany Valenti 24:10
Right.
TIffany Graves 24:11
it's not the same. And if you wanna know more, happy to talk about it,
Bethany Valenti 24:15
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 24:16
just kind of wanna like help bring out some of that, bring down some of the stigma. It is still a legit way to incorporate things within the therapeutic realm. I'm not just making shit up to have fun with therapy.
Bethany Valenti 24:29
Right. Can you say more about that? Like, so when you say, I'm not just making shit up to have fun with therapy, like what am, what are you doing? What, everything that we've just talked about,
TIffany Graves 24:42
Yeah. All the things. So basically
Bethany Valenti 24:45
like, tell me, but I was like, mean all the things we just said.
TIffany Graves 24:49
well sometimes when I present it to people and I say, oh, well I use like games and things
Bethany Valenti 24:54
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 24:54
therapy,
Bethany Valenti 24:54
Yep.
TIffany Graves 24:55
I've had so many faces of just like judgment where they're like, so you play video games during therapy sessions? who pays for that? And I'm like, no, that's not, you're like totally taking this thing and like misconstruing it into
Bethany Valenti 25:06
That seems like a leap.
TIffany Graves 25:08
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti 25:09
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 25:09
way that if I was to play UNO cards and allocate each color to an emotion, that then becomes a therapeutic tool to help someone understand emotions via a play therapy tactic.
Bethany Valenti 25:21
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 25:21
and it's the same thing with games. It's the same thing with worksheets. Worksheets are just a vehicle to get that information. This game is just a vehicle
Bethany Valenti 25:30
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 25:31
get information to and from my client in a way that is accessible to them and
Bethany Valenti 25:35
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 25:36
their world.
Bethany Valenti 25:37
Yeah. So are you actively playing games in session?
TIffany Graves 25:42
So yes and no.
Bethany Valenti 25:44
Okay.
TIffany Graves 25:45
I have played some board games with people. Emotional uno tends to be the favorite thing among anyone under 10,
Bethany Valenti 25:51
I would love to learn emotional uno. I don't know it.
TIffany Graves 25:55
and then. the one that happened the most often when I'm playing games is if I'm doing telehealth. And it's usually with my preteens, my teens,
Bethany Valenti 26:04
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 26:04
I don't blame them. No one wants to sit and stare at an adult for 60 minutes
Bethany Valenti 26:10
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 26:10
this is my life. Like, no, I don't even wanna do that. that doesn't sound fun. So I have this, that I use called Board Game Arena. They're not sponsored, they're not sponsoring me.
Bethany Valenti 26:21
No ad.
TIffany Graves 26:22
Yeah, no ad, I pay for it. The business has its own account. That is not linked to me.
Bethany Valenti 26:29
Okay.
TIffany Graves 26:30
my consent form, there is a like, Hey, make sure you're using a, non-identifiable username whenever you're using this.
Bethany Valenti 26:39
Hmm.
TIffany Graves 26:39
you accepting my friend request on this platform does not create a friend relationship. This is strictly a, in therapy use only. and it, you know, if you want to use it outside of therapy, you can, but once our relationship ends, you will be removed from the account.
Bethany Valenti 26:57
Okay.
TIffany Graves 26:58
to answer your question,
Bethany Valenti 26:59
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 26:59
yes we do. We play things like, there's checkers, there's chess, there's back gammon, there's a zool. There's. All kinds of board games that we play. The popular one is a game called Bubbly Pop,
Bethany Valenti 27:13
Oh,
TIffany Graves 27:14
it's essentially Candy Crush
Bethany Valenti 27:15
how fun.
TIffany Graves 27:16
shoot different bubbles,
Bethany Valenti 27:17
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 27:18
make them match up to get the colors. It's just a really
Bethany Valenti 27:21
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 27:21
way to take the pressure off the session.
Bethany Valenti 27:23
Yeah. That face-to-face thing. Yeah.
TIffany Graves 27:26
So if it's my turn to play, usually I have asked the client a question and they're talking. Whenever it's their turn to play, I'm usually like responding to what they said. I do work with a lot of neurodivergent individuals, and it really helps give them something to do otherwise, like I, the phone comes out, other tabs go up, they're
Bethany Valenti 27:45
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 27:46
and
Bethany Valenti 27:46
You're like watching their eyes go elsewhere.
TIffany Graves 27:48
everywhere.
Bethany Valenti 27:49
Yeah. This will hone them in a lot of the time. I'm also thinking, it reminds me of kinda like how we have big conversations in the car. You know, you're not having to look at each other directly the whole time unless you want to. you're headed somewhere and you know that there's a time restriction to it. there might be breaks, like it creates kind of this natural more comfortable space.
TIffany Graves 28:17
Yeah, it creates more of a humanized space.
Bethany Valenti 28:21
Yeah, Okay. So those are the types of games that you're actually doing in session, but you can still be like talking about like anime or some of the other stuff. Correct.
TIffany Graves 28:34
Yes. I do have, I'm more like trying to figure out the logistics because some of my other Geek Therapeutic colleagues, they do actually pull up Zoom and have people log into games via steam.
Bethany Valenti 28:46
Okay.
TIffany Graves 28:47
but I also know HIPAA doesn't technically change from state to state. Like it's still pretty general,
Bethany Valenti 28:53
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 28:54
different rules for different states. And while some states can get away with it, like Ohio's is pretty strict about what you can and can't do. So I don't have all of the ability to do some of the other gaming that other places are getting to do. Like, one of them that I would love to do is like an online, support group for you get an MMO and everyone meets, but the complexities of the HIPAA there is like. People probably don't wanna create fake accounts 'cause they, they actually wanna keep playing this game. And then
Bethany Valenti 29:27
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 29:27
the username and then these people are friending these people and
Bethany Valenti 29:31
Hmm.
TIffany Graves 29:31
all of that
Bethany Valenti 29:32
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 29:33
some states that I found don't seem to care.
Bethany Valenti 29:36
Mm-hmm. And it's, yeah, group stuff is so unique Part of it is that you're able to like, make connections, but doing the connections and like having that be like accessible during the group time, like that you're all in group together could create, oh, there's a, there's actually a term for it, but what I basically like stuff that's being processed outside of the group that may be either brought into the group or not brought into the group as a result of connecting outside.
TIffany Graves 30:07
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti 30:08
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 30:08
Groups are tricky.
Bethany Valenti 30:10
tell me about your groups real quick. Like how many do you do?
TIffany Graves 30:14
So currently we have zero running. we've only had one get through to run.
Bethany Valenti 30:20
Okay.
TIffany Graves 30:21
just been really hard, finding enough people that meet the group criteria and the, all the
Bethany Valenti 30:26
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 30:27
survey funneling to like get a group going. and then there's a lot of like insurance blocks and like economical blocks currently have kind of just gotten in the way. But we are actively, we are actively enrolling. We have like an ongoing wait list.
Bethany Valenti 30:43
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 30:44
Hey, we finally reached our people Max. Like we're gonna start if you're still interested.
Bethany Valenti 30:50
What is your people? Max
TIffany Graves 30:52
So our people, max is eight people a group. The minimum is four.
Bethany Valenti 30:57
four. Okay.
TIffany Graves 30:57
We're still trying to get to
Bethany Valenti 30:58
still trying to get to four.
TIffany Graves 31:00
really hard in the fall, in the spring
Bethany Valenti 31:03
yeah.
TIffany Graves 31:03
all
Bethany Valenti 31:04
Yeah. And this, the one that you do is d and d specifically, or No,
TIffany Graves 31:09
Yes, it is. DD specifically, it's primarily focusing on anxiety and social skills.
Bethany Valenti 31:16
I.
TIffany Graves 31:16
it is a combat light campaign that essentially forces players to sit and think about, how do I wanna manage this situation when I'm down levels or I don't have the equipment I need, or I got caught in this situation without my equipment. What do I do? And it helps, helps bridge problem solving and create, safe spaces to challenge social anxiety in a small externalized setting. when people are learning these skills in the game, they then can take them out into the world and see how they work.
Bethany Valenti 31:51
Yeah. I love that so much. I'm thinking of examples that I've heard of in the past where just. How it's been applied to, you're watching people who have struggled with decision making or like, I know that sometimes when I play games, like the social influences impact some of the decisions that I'm making versus like the campaign it's one of those things where it's like, yeah, how could this translate? You're actually seeing how somebody navigates these decisions or how you were saying earlier about you have the skills, you can do it in your game. What's different about it here?
TIffany Graves 32:23
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti 32:24
maybe it is like, someone might think a certain way about me if I act a certain way.
TIffany Graves 32:28
Yeah, and people have to like, when you do these d and d groups, people have to really think about how are people going to view and judge my character if I chose to interact this way? That gives them that external space to then like, go after session and think about like, oh, I did this thing with my character and it got viewed negatively. that's not something I wanna do and interact with people around me.
Bethany Valenti 32:50
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 32:50
just really cool to see process in action where people are thinking about how people are perceiving their character based on their character's decisions
Bethany Valenti 32:58
Hmm.
TIffany Graves 32:58
they can translate and think about like, oh, people might actually viewing me differently based on how I'm choosing to interact with them.
Bethany Valenti 33:05
Yeah. And is that something that you debrief in the group, or like how direct are you about some of this? Or you're just like, oh, they're getting it by osmosis, by the doing
TIffany Graves 33:17
So there is a 15 minute Touch base after each session and a 15 minute debrief at the end, just to see if there's any questions or clarifying things. There is, since it's online, there's hand
Bethany Valenti 33:29
Oh, hand raising.
TIffany Graves 33:30
Hand raising, if something comes up that we need to pause the campaign for, they, there's also specific symbols that you can direct message your game master. So if something has been triggered, they can quickly like spin it to away from said topic. and that they can kind of like make note of okay, this topic I need to touch on at the end of group session with this person, but we need to move the campaign in a different direction before we have a potential crisis.
Bethany Valenti 34:01
Yeah, that's a very useful tool. Fascinating group stuff is so, I love groups. and are you the dm? Are you the master?
TIffany Graves 34:15
So I have dmd, a couple times. It's not really my favorite thing to do.
Bethany Valenti 34:19
Hmm.
TIffany Graves 34:19
It's because I go way off script and the groups need to be super scripted so that you're not wasting time.
Bethany Valenti 34:27
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 34:28
My neuro divergent brain at the finest. but anyone that's been interested in running the groups, I have the training to train them and help them run it in a therapeutic way so that it's still kind of like a one-to-one. and I've also helped, co group, so I'm there if they need me.
Bethany Valenti 34:46
Anything else that you want us just to know about this type of work or like how someone might find a therapist who's into this kind of stuff?
TIffany Graves 34:55
I think that's the hard one, right? that's the one thing that I have yet to put my finger on, on how to streamline. I know when clients find me and we jive on that, like that game thread, or that geek thread, they're like, oh my gosh, why did it take so long to find like
Bethany Valenti 35:14
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 35:14
jived? and it's just hard. I don't know the SEO ins and outs
Bethany Valenti 35:20
Right.
TIffany Graves 35:20
I don't know that, I mean, there might be lots of people looking for therapists that utilize geek therapy and are inside that realm.
Bethany Valenti 35:28
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 35:29
I'm not sure what people search for.
Bethany Valenti 35:31
Yeah. Like I like some elements of it, but I we talked about it, oh, I've used these different analogies or just different stuff. If I figure out like that's something, so like, it could just be like part of the fit with the therapist that you find. but it's just nice to know if somebody's like in that as well, which I think is really nice that there are some of those, what you have now is the certification. So that's it. Are there like directories for that
TIffany Graves 35:54
so
Bethany Valenti 35:55
now?
TIffany Graves 35:55
a directory, but the weird part is, and I'm still trying to figure this out, is
Bethany Valenti 35:59
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 36:01
supposedly I paid to be in the directory, but I don't show up in the directory. but my certification shows up like whenever you like search, like through the actual email data bank.
Bethany Valenti 36:11
Oh
TIffany Graves 36:12
I don't know. That was a weird one that I contacted support and they're like, yeah, you're certified. And I'm like, alright,
Bethany Valenti 36:17
Yeah. but it's on like you're now able to put it on your website and you can identify it outwardly in that way, so some people might have that, for instance, listed somewhere, but it's not as mainstream, like you said, as like EMDR or some of the other clinical type certifications, like more clinical intervention type certifications.
TIffany Graves 36:38
and it's so new.
Bethany Valenti 36:39
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 36:39
when I bring it up, people are like, oh, what is that? I've never heard of that.
Bethany Valenti 36:42
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 36:43
Yeah, let's talk more.
Bethany Valenti 36:45
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 36:45
I like wanna spread it everywhere,
Bethany Valenti 36:46
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 36:47
the other downside is too, some people are just really turned off by the idea where when I say it, it kind of gets that like scowl-y look and people
Bethany Valenti 36:56
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 36:57
that's not actually like, no one's gonna pay you to do that type of therapy kind of thing. So I think, I am unfortunately in a realm where some people are gonna be like, this is fantastic. And other people are gonna be like, this is garbage.
Bethany Valenti 37:09
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 37:09
you find your niche population, your niche people
Bethany Valenti 37:11
Yep.
TIffany Graves 37:12
and grow. From there. And I think that's kind of the issue that I'm sitting with now is like, I'm finding my niche people, but getting it to grow outward has been difficult. 'cause there's been so much like resistance of this isn't quote unquote like real therapy.
Bethany Valenti 37:27
Yeah. And I think that's part of how clinicians, but society can kind of put therapy in a box,
TIffany Graves 37:38
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti 37:39
but not all people fit into boxes. And sometimes as we know, like our identities and not all boxes are fun and. People don't like being put in a box by other people. but I guess I'm also just thinking like identity work is so cool firstly, and then also it feels like there's so many elements, layers to identity and intersectionality and everything. So like for instance, if it's like a woman going through life as a more geeky person is gonna have a different experience as maybe a white male as a geeky person, you know, gaming or whatever, like, just that kind of on its most rudimentary thing, but that is still a part of who they are
TIffany Graves 38:24
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti 38:24
how they're gonna navigate the world. And so there's also culture stuff involved. Like, I didn't learn about, I didn't know about Discord for a very long time and I finally asked one of my clients who was much more in that like, like. World of okay, so what is it exactly? I kind of got the sense that it's like, oh, it's a server where, okay, okay. You know, people talk on there. You could have groups and have topics and you could kinda have these sort of virtual chat hangouts. It feels very AOL to me from like,
TIffany Graves 38:55
Well, it like,
Bethany Valenti 38:56
you know.
TIffany Graves 38:57
it's so, it's so nice though. Like I say that as there's like almost 30, 40 servers open on my Discord,
Bethany Valenti 39:05
yeah.
TIffany Graves 39:05
love,
Bethany Valenti 39:05
Explain discord maybe for anyone who may not know what Discord is.
TIffany Graves 39:09
It's this interface. You have the ability to direct message friends, but you have servers that you join and they're kind of like, if we wanna like backdate it, they're kind of similar to groups on Facebook where you ask to join. Some of them have really strict rules. They have strict moderation. Some of them don't. just looking at this, I have therapy groups. a couple game groups. some neuro divergent groups. random friend groups. a whole folder full of DD based groups and DD therapy groups. There's just a wonderful place to like find things that are niched down.
Bethany Valenti 39:44
It's like, could it be compared to Reddit?
TIffany Graves 39:49
so
Bethany Valenti 39:49
No.
TIffany Graves 39:50
no
Bethany Valenti 39:51
like a, more like a Facebook, you're saying?
TIffany Graves 39:52
a Facebook, there's no like posting
Bethany Valenti 39:54
Okay.
TIffany Graves 39:55
So like, imagine Facebook Messenger and the little Facebook groups that you can have. but more elaborate. So if you
Bethany Valenti 40:04
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 40:04
one of your Facebook groups, this server has a welcome tab, an FAQ tab, like a
Bethany Valenti 40:09
Okay.
TIffany Graves 40:09
tabs, a rule tab, and then there has like, you can go for game news, community news, social news, event news for this game. and then there's just more and more like specified chats, and like voice channels that you can pop in and talk to and like get to
Bethany Valenti 40:23
Yeah,
TIffany Graves 40:24
and, I guess like you could say it's like Reddit and that you can find specific threads within the server
Bethany Valenti 40:29
yeah,
TIffany Graves 40:30
but it's just more of a, everyone likes this thing that the server's made about, and then that server breaks that thing down into more like running threads that you can keep communicating on.
Bethany Valenti 40:42
Okay. I'm just thinking, because part of the reason I brought it up is because those are things that if you're working with clients who are spending time on there, you'll be like, oh, was this a group message? Was this over text? Like, was this in a hangout? And they're like, oh, it was on Discord. and sometimes the way they communicate on there might be different than if you communicate it in person. And so there's just different things. So it's a way to more deeply understand or contextualize what someone's experiencing, you know? and as we know, it's really, really nice when clients feel like they don't have to. Explain themselves as much.
TIffany Graves 41:19
Yeah. And it's like I mentioned earlier, you're not asking 'em to come into this white sterilized room and learn all these new things and explain to you all of these nuances of what is their life. You're coming into their world and you're like, yeah, I know what Discord is. You don't have to, we don't have to spend 20 minutes going. Like, fine. I know what that an enemy is me more, like what gets you vibed about it versus potentially going to someone who doesn't vibe and they're I don't know what you're talking about. And then it's like 30, 45 minutes potentially wasted, or feeling of wasted time where this client's, I just spent the whole session trying to explain what anime was to my therapist, and they just still didn't get it.
Bethany Valenti 41:54
See? Like you just like Yes, exactly. and yes, there are certain things that I think some therapists are like, yeah, I can work with people without fully understanding the stuff that they're in, but like to be seen and to be understood. You know what I mean? Like is just really meaningful. And I think that is also dependent on the client. Is it important that they know about this?
TIffany Graves 42:17
It's very dependent, on the
Bethany Valenti 42:18
So people, do you have clients that come in and that are potentially like in that world, but you don't, they don't focus on is it like a, some people dial it up and dial it down depending on what's going on?
TIffany Graves 42:27
it up, some people dial it down. Some people are like, no, that's like a part of my world I don't want in a therapy realm. And I'm like,
Bethany Valenti 42:33
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 42:33
totally fine.
Bethany Valenti 42:34
Fair.
TIffany Graves 42:35
I just want to let you know, I probably will use references 'cause that's, that's where my brain's at. then there are times when I get people who are 1000% outside of that world. and then that in itself is a challenge for me. Now I have to think of these concepts that make sense in my mind to work with these individuals. Which isn't to say that I can't do it, it makes me recognize like if I was in the client's chair, just how difficult it can be sometimes to do that extra work to meet someone in the middle versus being able to be like, we're already in the middle. Like we already have that human to human experience. let's just go with it.
Bethany Valenti 43:13
I really appreciate you kind of walking me through this and hopefully just letting people know that this is an option, of what their therapy can look like. I think, for many reasons, there's stigma around therapy and if this can be. A way for people to realize, like, oh, therapy isn't just people sitting in, like you said, a white box just staring at each other, or like someone like laying on a couch or whatnot.
TIffany Graves 43:37
had people lay in the couch.
Bethany Valenti 43:39
some people like to lay, but it's not like the old school psychoanalysis where someone's sitting behind you and you're laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. There are clients who just wanna lay and take the space up the way they want. You know, that's a choice to lay, uh, you have the choice to lay in therapy if you want, I love how you said like the white box of just coming in and just being totally blank. You know, I think it's really meaningful to have
TIffany Graves 44:02
Mm-hmm.
Bethany Valenti 44:03
that therapy is gonna be more effective, the more comfortable you are being uncomfortable
TIffany Graves 44:09
I really, the thing that I like. Focus on the most with my clients is the human experience. I really want them to recognize that I'm there in the human experience with them. yes, I'm a professional in what I do, that doesn't mean I can't meet you in your human experience and we can't experience it together.
Bethany Valenti 44:28
Yeah. Well said. I appreciate that. are you ready for our wrap up questions?
TIffany Graves 44:36
Hit me with the questions.
Bethany Valenti 44:37
You with the questions? Otherwise I will
TIffany Graves 44:39
talk all day.
Bethany Valenti 44:40
Yeah, I know. Same. where are you licensed
TIffany Graves 44:45
So I'm licensed in Ohio and the state of New Jersey now.
Bethany Valenti 44:51
or now?
TIffany Graves 44:51
hopefully the compact will open some things
Bethany Valenti 44:54
what's the status of the compact right now
TIffany Graves 44:55
I think right now it's just two states, Missouri and Arkansas. Don't quote me on that. It's been a hot minute since I checked the
Bethany Valenti 45:04
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 45:05
and read that.
Bethany Valenti 45:06
Right. Yeah. I just know people are like, okay, Hopefully the compact. I'm like, where? I don't even know where we're at. I just, I'm hoping along with you,
TIffany Graves 45:11
it's official. two states have signed
Bethany Valenti 45:14
Okay.
TIffany Graves 45:15
for it. if I'm being optimistic, it's probably not gonna be 2027 before like actually get mega waved pushed.
Bethany Valenti 45:23
That sucks.
TIffany Graves 45:24
on my radar where I'm like, I'm gonna keep reading emails when they
Bethany Valenti 45:26
Right. So on the horizon, distantly. Okay, great. And do you have openings right now?
TIffany Graves 45:33
I have very limited openings.
Bethany Valenti 45:35
No.
TIffany Graves 45:36
my books stay pretty packed,
Bethany Valenti 45:38
Okay.
TIffany Graves 45:39
but I do have a running wait list. sometimes things cycle out pretty quickly, sometimes they don't. it just depends on people's flexibility.
Bethany Valenti 45:48
How would you describe your theoretical orientation?
TIffany Graves 45:52
I'm gonna be honest. I don't know because I've removed myself, and this might sound really bad for. If my professors are listening, please don't. Please don't grade me. But since I've removed myself so much from like the standard box of a therapy, it should be, I am, the theoretical orientation that I use is more of like a compassion human, experience focused approach that interweaves, neuroscience, cognitive behavioral therapy, ACT in with the play therapy. geek therapeutics.
Bethany Valenti 46:25
That was amazing. I feel like A+. I don't know what
TIffany Graves 46:31
I always hated that question because It always felt even in school, they're like, what box do you wanna fit in? I'm like, none.
Bethany Valenti 46:38
Leave me alone. I know. I love it. A big gold one. I love it.
TIffany Graves 46:44
yes.
Bethany Valenti 46:46
Do you take insurance?
TIffany Graves 46:48
I do take insurance. I take UnitedHealthcare Aetna, Cigna, UMR, Medben, I think Custom Design benefits. do not take Anthem unfortunately. Sorry for all the Anthem people, but we do do super bills for you guys.
Bethany Valenti 47:02
Aw, nice. You do what you can.
TIffany Graves 47:04
Yeah, I try Anthem. I don't wanna get like shaded by Anthem over here. They might like ground me forever,
Bethany Valenti 47:10
Find you.
TIffany Graves 47:11
they find me and then they sue me for slander. But like, they just don't play nice. I'll leave it at that.
Bethany Valenti 47:17
just leave it at that. I think that's totally fair. I got you I'm picking up what you're putting down. So, private pay fee, what's your current fee?
TIffany Graves 47:26
My current fee is 150 for 60 minutes. it doesn't change for intakes, assessments, anything of that nature.
Bethany Valenti 47:33
And you've already sort of spoken to this, but online or in person.
TIffany Graves 47:38
I do both. so I'm in the office two days a week and I'm virtual. One and a half days.
Bethany Valenti 47:44
Okay.
TIffany Graves 47:44
yeah.
Bethany Valenti 47:45
And so, I mean, we've referenced some things, but what do you like to nerd out about?
TIffany Graves 47:50
Oh, that's so, so much. my favorite things to talk about, even though I'm bad at them, is the Dark songs, games, the Ellen Ring Games. I just ooey gooey anime. So Apothecary Diaries, my Happy Marriage was a really good one. and then there's some weird ones that I like to watch too, but just like the happy things. I do enjoy like automative games. There's a really cute game called Odd Sparks. Again, not a sponsor. you literally play like little tree trunk characters that help you move items from point A to point B,
Bethany Valenti 48:26
Hmm.
TIffany Graves 48:26
And they make little happy noises when you throw them. And it's just so much fun.
Bethany Valenti 48:32
That's so cute.
TIffany Graves 48:33
It's so cute,
Bethany Valenti 48:35
So cute.
TIffany Graves 48:36
And then I do play a couple RPGs, some MOBAs, but not as frequently as your cozy game realm.
Bethany Valenti 48:43
I love the different types of genres within the gaming world and I love the idea that there's like cozy gaming out there. It's so cute.
TIffany Graves 48:52
it's, it's such a fun topic. If you ever wanna deep dive into it, there's so many of them. Also, neuro divergent brain is finest if
Bethany Valenti 48:59
Let's go.
TIffany Graves 49:00
a game. and this is anyone listening, I do wanna put a trigger warning because it is like super grief heavy,
Bethany Valenti 49:08
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 49:08
a game called Spirit Farer.
Bethany Valenti 49:10
I have heard a spirit farer that it is,
TIffany Graves 49:13
so
Bethany Valenti 49:14
it's, but that it's like positively grief Like it's heavy, but it's very like, meaningful. I've heard of Spirit Farer. Yeah.
TIffany Graves 49:20
So wonderful. The king character, I don't wanna spoil it, but the mean character walks multiple people through, the problems they encounter in life to help them move them on. So rewarding, It made bawl like a baby, but it was so good.
Bethany Valenti 49:34
Yeah. it reminds me a little bit about certain types of, books if there's readers listening, like under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune, I wept at the end of that one. different stuff like that. yeah, it like the kind that is deep, you know, some stuff is, you get into it and it's, there's like the cozy, there's fun, there's like. The challenging in terms of like combat or problem solving, and then there's deep type stuff,
TIffany Graves 50:00
Yeah,
Bethany Valenti 50:00
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 50:01
love the diversity.
Bethany Valenti 50:02
Mm-hmm. It's all, it's all out there for you. well, we've sort of seen one, but do you have any pets?
TIffany Graves 50:09
I do. I have two cats. You saw the Calico one. Her name is Patches. the other one we have, she's our elder cat. She's 14. She is probably downstairs in the sun
Bethany Valenti 50:20
oh,
TIffany Graves 50:20
is mustache.
Bethany Valenti 50:21
mustache. She's probably not excited for the cold either.
TIffany Graves 50:24
It's so
Bethany Valenti 50:25
She does have a mustache.
TIffany Graves 50:28
It's so cute. I feel bad for her because everyone that has met her, including the vet who spayed her.
Bethany Valenti 50:34
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 50:35
He
Bethany Valenti 50:37
'cause of the mustache.
TIffany Graves 50:38
well
Bethany Valenti 50:38
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 50:39
'cause of how big she
Bethany Valenti 50:40
She.
TIffany Graves 50:40
stop genderizing my cat.
Bethany Valenti 50:42
Well, also like girls can be big. Come on.
TIffany Graves 50:45
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti 50:47
Right. So, how about, because I can't not ask for this. Can we get like a picture of mustache so I can put it on the Instagram?
TIffany Graves 50:54
I
Bethany Valenti 50:55
That'd be so great.
TIffany Graves 50:56
send
Bethany Valenti 50:56
That'd be great. I'll take one of your unicorn as well. Patches was lovely, but I, now we gotta know what the mustache looks like.
TIffany Graves 51:04
I'll see if I can get a good one.
Bethany Valenti 51:05
Okay. Perfect. Thank you. let's see. What's something that you find comforting?
TIffany Graves 51:10
Something I find comforting, this is gonna sound so stereotypical, but like hot bath, Epsom salt, my steam deck,
Bethany Valenti 51:20
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 51:21
just like dimmed lights in my bathtub, playing video games, which I know is really bad and hopefully I don't ever electrocute myself, but that is my comfort.
Bethany Valenti 51:29
Wow. that sets a scene for sure. And you know, there's some truth in stereotypes, right? hello, it's a bath. there is, a reason, like we recommend them and people like them.
TIffany Graves 51:39
This is
Bethany Valenti 51:39
So,
TIffany Graves 51:40
is
Bethany Valenti 51:40
yeah. And coffee or tea.
TIffany Graves 51:45
probably tea.
Bethany Valenti 51:47
Yeah.
TIffany Graves 51:47
coffee, but it's one of those things that's definitely moderation for me. 'cause like the bitter aftertaste just gets me
Bethany Valenti 51:54
Mm-hmm. What is your least favorite misconception about the work that we do?
TIffany Graves 52:00
my least favorite misconception.
Bethany Valenti 52:03
Or your biggest pet peeve,
TIffany Graves 52:04
My biggest pet, ugh, I'm gonna try and not lose my shit,
Bethany Valenti 52:09
Ooh.
TIffany Graves 52:10
I meet people or clients or just when I meet anyone in general, whether I'm working with them or not and they've had the experience or they have the understanding that the experience of therapy is gonna be like, so sorry you feel that way. Just that repetitive regurgitation of like, that sounds frustrating, which I know some people do, and I know it works for some people, so I don't wanna get myself roasted
Bethany Valenti 52:36
yeah, spoiler. I have said both of those things many times to my clients. It's just that that's not all we're saying we're doing. Right.
TIffany Graves 52:43
but that's the common theme with a population I work with. And they look at me and they're like, please don't. And I'm like, don't worry, I'll call you out on your shit.
Bethany Valenti 52:51
I'm gonna say some other things.
TIffany Graves 52:53
but that's my biggest pet peeve that unfortunately is a running theme for what therapy is supposed to be
Bethany Valenti 52:58
Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 52:59
And I'm just like, no, no, no. that is puzzle piece A. There is 25 other puzzle pieces we could look at.
Bethany Valenti 53:05
we got pieces. We got pieces for days.
TIffany Graves 53:07
Yeah.
Bethany Valenti 53:09
So
TIffany Graves 53:10
pet peeve though.
Bethany Valenti 53:11
And last question is, where can people find you?
TIffany Graves 53:16
So I'm on Psychology Today. I have my own website called Blue Gardens Counseling. I have Facebook, I have Instagram, I have YouTube. We have a Patreon for, it's not technically for me, but like I'm on there with my own podcast
Bethany Valenti 53:31
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
TIffany Graves 53:32
there.
Bethany Valenti 53:32
Yeah. Deciphering Growth podcast, correct?
TIffany Graves 53:36
Yes,
Bethany Valenti 53:37
Yes. Okay. based on what you told me off mic at the beginning of our conversation, we do wanna specify, especially in the area, there is literally another Tiffany Graves spelled exactly the same. Correct.
TIffany Graves 53:50
this is correct
Bethany Valenti 53:51
and just a different type of degree, but different type of approach. That is like in terms of work. So if you want this Tiffany Graves, we're looking for Blue Gardens counseling. maybe looking for that geek certification on there. the Deciphering podcast.
TIffany Graves 54:08
Yeah,
Bethany Valenti 54:09
growth podcast. It's that Tiffany.
TIffany Graves 54:11
I don't have a PsyD
Bethany Valenti 54:13
Yeah, yours is, LPC or L-P-C-C-S. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Love it. Okay. L-P-C-C-S. So look for that Tiffany Graves, if you're trying to find her. do you have multiple Instagram accounts? I know there is one for the Deciphering Growth podcast. Do you have a Blue Gardens Counseling as well? Just names out there, websites out there.
TIffany Graves 54:34
more, to be honest.
Bethany Valenti 54:35
Oh yeah,
TIffany Graves 54:36
dive,
Bethany Valenti 54:36
I'm sure out there. the hilariousness is the proximity. You said that
TIffany Graves 54:42
we're like
Bethany Valenti 54:42
the office
TIffany Graves 54:43
which is
Bethany Valenti 54:44
It's not just that you're in the same state doing the same field, it's that you're in the same area of the state literally five minutes away.
TIffany Graves 54:55
Just down the street.
Bethany Valenti 54:57
Oh, well this has been a real joy. Thank you so much for your time.
TIffany Graves 55:01
Thank you for having me.
